too real ~ colby brock

T.W.E.N.T.Y F.I.V.E

||HARPER'S POV||

I've only spent a few hours in the hospital being conscious and aware, and if I could describe the way I am feeling in two words it would be: trapped and annoyed. 

It should be understandable that I feel trapped. I'm confined in this hospital room. I haven't even moved from the bed. 

Well this morning when I had to piss and went to the bathroom attached to the room, but besides that I'm stuck to it like glue. I've been bored out of my mind and I am incapable to do things that I would do everyday. Which is being able to walk on my feet, go out, and go experience the outside world. 

I just feel so fragile. Not only because I'm stuck in here, but also it's because people have been treating me like I am fragile. I don't want people to overly pity me. I mean an "are you okay?" is fine. I just don't want them thinking that they can treat me differently from before.

 Look, I understand why there are people treating me gently, and I appreciate it. But being too gentle makes me feel weak. I know in my current state I'm physically weak, but feeling it mentally isn't going to help my body be stronger. That's what annoys me.

Sophia and Genevieve are visiting me right now. 

Soph is being one of those people who are pitying me way too much, but I appreciate it. She's just trying to make sure I feel okay, but it seriously is making me feel bad. "Are you sure? You just had a tough fall and you are attached to that bed, it's okay to not be okay." 

Gen was behind her looking at me with an understanding look, she spoke, "Sophia if she says she's okay, then she's okay. We are trying to talk to her like normal, but you are ruining it." 

Sophia rolled her eyes, "I'm sorry I'm acting like I care. But, it's because I do!"

I instantly shushed her, "quiet, it's a hospital for christ sake." 

"Sorry," she whispered. She looked over to the bear. "I think it's the bear in the chair over there doing this to me. It keeps staring at me."

"I think it's cute," Gen crossed her arms. 

"Same," I agreed.

Gen asked, "who got you it?" 

"I don't know," I shrugged.

"Ooooh, anonymous," Sophia claps. 

"It was there before I was awake. It's probably from Kai if Tyler didn't bring it," I said.

"Tyler visited you?" Soph asked.

"Yeah," I sighed.

 I wasn't going to tell them about what happened between me and Tyler. It just bothers me about how he apologized for something, and he didn't want me to know. After he started to apologize, I told him I didn't know what he is talking about. And he just played it off.  He still thinks I don't remember.

But, I remember it clearly now. It was the reason I went to the bridge in the first place and ended up here. Maybe if I just stayed in the house and forgave him for yelling at me, I wouldn't be here in the first place.