Under Suppression

I'm Just Tired

Alycia led me by my hand to one of the ER rooms, and pulled the curtain shut.

"Here, sit down," she insisted on holding me by my upper arms in case I fell, regardless of how many times I've told her that I'm fine. "What happened? Are you okay?"

I shook my head. "I'm sorry to bother you with this, Leesh. I-"

"Hey, no. Stop.." I breathed out a heavy sigh, letting her hands push me to sit on the hospital cot.

"I.. I was ventilating on a roof and got knocked off of it.."

Her eyes widened in shock, her jaw dropping. "Oh my god. Please tell me it was a single-"

"It was two stories," I cringed, unable to look at her reaction now. I felt terribly guilty again for all of this hassle. I was fine, really.

"Oh my god, Y/n, and you walked in here?! You could have a spinal cord injury! What were you thinking?" She sounded so disappointed.

She slipped her hand to my back, and I flinched at the feeling, causing her to remove her touch, her fingers hovering over me now. "How did you fall? Did you hit your head or remember passing out?" Her tone softened, probably deciding to save the scolding for later, which I appreciated. Nobody was more frustrated with the situation than myself.

I shook my head, wincing as I lifted my eyes back to her worried ones. Her hands hovered over my shoulders like she was hoping to give some sort of physical affection but unsure where she was safe to rest her hands. "I don't think I hit my head, I don't know. I'm not really sure. I fell on my back, in a bush but right on top of my air tank which felt fantastic. Just what I needed right now."

"Y/n," she breathed out, and I felt like shit for making her so worried right now. "Okay, you're gonna need to get another CT and a scan of your back. But first, let me take a look at it. Are you able to lift your arms?"

She slipped the suspenders of my turnout pants off of my shoulders before pulling the bulky layer off, and I slowly lifted my arms, only making it about halfway before my nose scrunched in pain.

"-fuck.."

"Oh, baby," she cooed. Her soft fingers found the hem of my shirt, gently pulling it upward before pausing. She gasped and I squeezed my eyes shut in shame. I felt her fingertips trailing what I believed to be bruising running down my spine, and I took sharp breaths through gritted teeth. After a second, she finally tugged my shirt up all the way, pulling it over my head and draping it over the chair beside the cot.

"Yeah, Y/n, you bruised it pretty bad. I'm gonna need Matthews to come examine it. Do you feel numb anywhere? Or like pins and needles?" She asked cautiously.

I shook my head, inhaling sharply as my back twitched forward in an arch, and her hand immediately found my cheek. "Try not to move too much. Had I known what you were coming in for, I wouldn't have even let you walk in here. I would have had your ass in a chair" she lightly scolded.

"That's.. That's exactly-" I stuttered over my words, feeling a wave of nausea creep up my stomach, and Alycia's hand quickly returned to my cheek, slowly nodding her head for me to keep going.

God, I'm a mess.

I lifted a hand to let her know it was fine and cleared my throat, but she refused to brush it off.

"That's exactly w-why I didn't.. say anything," I finally cracked out. I had originally intended it to be a joke to lighten the atmosphere like I normally did, but she only gave me a sad smile, seeing right through me. Every breath forced my body to move just enough to pinch my back, and I quickly dropped my head to the floor, closing my eyes in hopes that she wouldn't see my reaction.