𝐑𝐈𝐆𝐇𝐓 𝐖𝐇𝐄𝐑𝐄 𝐘𝐎𝐔 𝐋𝐄𝐅𝐓 𝐌𝐄, finnick odair

𝟬𝟮𝟮. her

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022. her
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TW: PTSD AND BREIF MENTIONS OF RAPE AND FORCED PROSTITUTION

finnick wasn't doing well to say the least. he felt like everything was going in slow motion. it took twice as long to reach the evening and when it did, all finnick could do was lay down in the small white room in district thirteen and think of what he could've done to keep lyra safe.

he kept replaying the promos hamotvh made to him before they'd agreed to help katniss and peeta get out "-you promised, haymitch!" he yelled "you told me she would be safe! i said 'no' and you promised me, if i said yes, lyra would be okay!"

"finnick" katniss interrupted his thought, making his grasp tighten on a photo he held of lyra.

"i wanted to go back for them but i..." he spoke, looking at a tired katniss "i couldn't move and they took lyra. she's... she's in the capitol with peeta and johanna but i- i didn't mean for her to..." he trailed off, looking back down at the worn photograph for comfort and taking a deep, calming breath before continuing "i wish she was dead. i wish they were all dead and we were too" he sounded empty. as soon as katniss wandered out of the room. tears began to fall and finnick was soon sobbing into his hands. he didn't want lyra dead. not if she could handle whatever was happening to her. he hoped, for the sake of her sanity, that they were leaving her alone, but knew it wasn't likely.

he wanted her back with him. safe.

after he'd calmed down and managed to dry his tears, finnick went back to staring at lyra's photograph. he stared and stared until he could practically hear her laugh. he loved her laugh. soon enough, his silence was interrupted by haymitch who'd decided to visit after getting an update of his mental status from katniss.

the older man sat next to him on the bed, not saying anything for a few seconds "losing your first love" haymitch began, not sure what to say or how to help. he didn't think anyone but lyra could help "it hurts. and it takes time to get over it"

"i'm not trying to get over it" he snapped at the older man, looking up from the photo "i'm not trying to get over her because i haven't lost her yet" his voice shook as tears welled up in his eyes once again.

"finnick, i didn't mean to- "

"i- i know you didn't but i haven't lost-" his voice broke "-lost her yet" he took a deep breath out a tucked the photograph into his pocket "she's not dead, i know it"

"okay"

"i know it's- i know she could be, im not stupid. but if she is, i don't want to be here and i want you let me leave"

"we can't leave district 13, finnick"

"i didn't mean district 13"

─── ･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ. ───

after a while of arguing back and forth, haymitch managed to coax finnick out of his room. happy with his accomplishment (even if it was just getting him to sit in a different room with him and beetee) haymitch tried time and time again to get him to talk about something. anything really, anything to get his mind off of lyra for a bit.

it came as a shock to them all when many of the screens in the room began streaming a video from the capitol the three men watched for a while, noticing the state peeta was in which got finnick thinking about how lyra might be looking "we almost went extinct once before and now our numbers are even fewer. is this really what we wanna do? kill ourselves off? killing is not the answer, everyone needs to lay down their weapons immediately" peeta spoke.

"what've they done to him?" beetee murmured, shaking his head pitifully at the thought. peeta finished his thought and the stream flickered off. leaving the room in silence.

suddenly, the screen previously showing peeta changed to one of an empty hall. everyone paused, confused as to what had happened. haymitch glanced towards beetee who shook his head to signal that he had nothing to do with the change of channel. "this is only being broadcasted here, in thirteen"

"turn off the other screens" finnick mumbled, not sure why he felt a sudden shift in the air. beetee did just that, meaning the image was no only being projected on the screens in front of him, haymitch, and finnick.

"is the sound working?" haymich wondered. perhaps they were supposed to be hearing something. before anyone could answer, a dragging sound along with heavy footsteps sounded through the speaker. if the room wasn't silent they wouldn't be able to hear it.

then finnick was filled with a feeling he wasn't sure how to desifer. it was similar to a mix of relief and painc. because his beautiful lyra was on the screen. alive but not well. she looked empty, vacant. her hands were bound with high tech looking cuffs and she was wearing next to nothing.

finnick swore he'd seen that dress somewhere before. as he racked his brain, lyras eyebrows furrowed and her voice sounded through the speaker. although it didn't sound like her, it sounded rougher, sadder. "no, i don't- i don't want to" lyra mumbled, looking and now sounding as though she'd been drugged with something.

and then it hit finnick. the same dress she was wearing the day she thought she was attending another stupid capitol event. the man remembered what had actually happened. not a party... "no" he whispered to himself, shaking his head a little.

"sir, i don't want to. no no-" the blonde was shown getting tugged away by the peacekeeper harsher than before. "i don't want to i don't want- i don't want to" she began getting more frantic with her movements, pulling and tugging at her restraints and trying to get away. tears began streaming down her face as they approached the door at the end of the lavish hall. "i don't want to, stop it! please please stop it let me go!" she got more and more hysterical until she was yelling almost unintelligibly, sobs escaping her mouth through the pleads and begs. "please i don't want- i don't want to do it! please stop it, i don't want to!"

none of them could do anything as they watched her get dragged by her arms into a room and only capturing a glimpse of the inside before she was thrown onto the floor aggressively and the door slammed shut.

finnick had never wanted anything more than he wanted to kill president snow.

———— authors note 💭

hey loves! this is part 2 of the double update 💞