Hurts Me Too

We're Starting Over (And I Love You, Darling.)

Castiel goes outside for the first time after he talks with Sam. The day was dreary. The sky was grey, the clouds were heavy, and it was chilly. Castiel searches around for Dean's grave and finds it instantly. He walked over to it slowly. He stopped short of the fresh grave. "I hope wherever you are is better than here," Castiel whispered to the grave marked. He turned around and went inside.

Castiel warmed up to being around Sam two weeks after visiting Dean. He was not sure why that was permission he needed, but it was. Sam had jokingly said Castiel was like a stray cat, and Castiel could not help the small smile that pulled at his lips. It was nice to be able to joke again. They even ate meals together now, and it was pleasant. Castiel could not remember the last time he dined with another person, the last time he enjoyed being around someone. Dean was all right company, but he was busy most of the time.

Some of those nights, Castiel would go to his room and feel guilty for enjoying time with Sam. The other man had said yes to Lucifer and had allowed the end of the world to happen, but was it all Sam's fault? It was not entirely his fault, and being the true vessel of Lucifer was Sam's destiny before he was born. Castiel knew he could blame Sam all he wanted, but that would not change what happened.

Castiel lay in bed, restless as usual. He wondered why he stayed, as he usually did late at night. Sam had yet to ask about his reason, but the ex-angel wanted to be prepared to answer that question. That is what he told himself anyway. Castiel had many reasons to leave and could at any time he wanted. Sam would not object to him leaving... would he? Castiel hoped Sam would try to stop him from walking out. He would try to keep Sam if the other man tried to go. Castiel brushed those thoughts off and refocused on his original train of thought. Staying with Sam was the harder of his two choices, was it not?

Castiel going back to camp would guarantee safety, while being with Sam was dangerous. If people ever saw and recognized Sam as Lucifer, they would be done for-- that was it! That is Castiel's reason! If people saw Sam, they would kill him. Castiel wanted to stop the younger Winchester from dying. Being a guardian angel was in Castiel's nature, and as long as one alive was alive, he would be the Winchesters'.

"You want to come get food with me?" Sam asked one morning. Castiel looked up from his bowl of canned peaches.

" Sure." Castiel replied, and once they finished eating, they set off to the nearby grocery store. As they were making the short trip, Castiel saw other people, people from camp.

Shit.

Castiel ushered Sam into a house. Sam went willingly, but he was confused.

"Castiel, what's wrong?" Sam asked-- his eyes were filled with worry.

"I know those people," Castiel responded with a frown, and Sam frowned back, and his eyebrows furrowed. The ex-angel shoved him into a random room and closed the door, promising to be back as quick as he could. Castiel went out the door and came face to face with a man.

"Castiel?" The man asked, and Castiel nodded; the other people looked surprised to see him.

There were four people, and the shortest man was in front of Castiel. The man was ragged, two of them looked remarkably similar, most likely siblings, brother, and sister, and finally, there was a much taller man, he was meek and scrawny. Castiel did not know them, but he knew of them. He was unsure of names, but he had seen Dean talk to each of them at least once.

"Is it true?" The sister asked.

"Is what true?" Castiel responded.

"That Dean and Lucifer are dead."