Don't Look Back

Chapter 5 - Ian

October 2018 (Eight years later)
The Berkshires, MA, USA

Some people carve a space for themselves so deep in your mind that you cannot forget them no matter how hard you try. No blind date, no callous tumble in the sheets, not even my dearest friend Helena can erase the memory of the woman who has nestled inside my heart.

Sylvia Evangeline O'Shea.

A broken heart beats with all its pieces. And it still wants the same person. Whenever I'm hiking, she's always there with me. 

Even after eight years.

My heart pounds with exertion while I climb the last grassy hill before the summit, pushing myself to the limit until my muscles begin to ache.

After reaching the peak, I survey the panoramic views—an autumnal blanket of red, green, and gold. That's when I sense her presence the most. The ghost of her caress haunts me still, my fingertips tingling as though she's holding my hand for real.

What the hell is that? Simply the power of my imagination?

If I close my eyes, I can picture her shoulder-length dark waves fluttering in the breeze. Her hazel eyes, twinkling with delight. Her dainty lips parted in awe while she appreciates the beauty of Mother Nature. Her powerful legs, striding with purpose and determination before we reach the summit.

In my mind's eye, Sylvia laughs and wraps her arms around me the way she's done many times before. "We did it!"

That's when my heart shrivels. Because it's quiet. Almost silent apart from the twittering of birds and the rustling of leaves.

And I remember I'm alone.

With a heavy sigh, I rest my heavy pack against a boulder and dig around inside. While I wait for Helena, I take out the waterproof pouch that holds my camera and capture the amazing Berkshire foliage. No need to hurry because I'll have plenty of time.

That's fine. It's given me the chance to appreciate this beautiful scenery. No haze. Blue sky with fluffy clouds and near perfect visibility. Some tufts and rocks for foreground interest. A sweeping curve to lead the eyes along the base of the valley.

Time passes quickly until Helena joins me, clasping my shoulder.

"You win." Although she goes to the gym five times a week, this exercise takes time to master. "Guess you're right. Guide's pace is best."

"Slow and steady wins the race." Using the rule of thirds, I frame the last shot right before turning to her. "It's best not to think about how quickly it'll be over. Savor it. Take the time to enjoy your surroundings. Soak it in and remember it during all those stressful meetings in the office."

"Yeah, it's pretty, I guess." Helena huffs and plops herself down on a nearby boulder before tearing open the wrapper of the protein bar with her teeth and taking a giant bite. "I get why you enjoy it."

"Not for you, though?"

She shrugs and checks her fitness watch. "Nine hundred active calories. Fifteen thousand steps. Hmm, it's like doing the stepper slowly for three hours. Not a terrible reward-for-effort ratio, but I've seen better."

"Except that you're out in the fresh air." I sit beside her on the giant granite boulder. "Where you can feel the warm sun on your face and the cool breeze. Not to mention you can enjoy the company of friends."

"Yeah, you're a decent conversationalist," she teases me before giving me a playful nudge. "Almost made me forget that I was hauling my sorry ass up a steep hill while trying not to trip over every rock and tree root."