God's Bargain

(4)

a-qing abruptly jumped at the doctor, pushing him against the wall

"what do you mean leukemia? what's going to happen to her? why aren't you treating her already?" a-qing fists the doctor's gown, crying as she let out her anger

the doctor can't do anything but to receive it all. yibo tried to calm her down just like earlier but a-qing wont let the doctor go. it reached the point where a male nurse approached them, injecting something into her veins

a-qing's body swayed, her first loosening around the doctor and her eyelids drooping as she fell limp on yibo's arms

"what—"

"it's a sedative, mr wang. it will make her calm, it will make her sleep for a while" the doctor answered before he could even finish while fixing the crumpled collar of his

yibo nodded at his words before he gazed at a-qing's sleeping figure, still on his hold, and decided to put her in a more comfortable position. the nurse helped him lay her down on the seats. he thanked the nurse, who bowed at him before leaving, then he faced the doctor once again

"im sorry doc but what's leukemia?"

the doctor smiles down at him as if appreciating the way he calmly asks

"it's a cancer on the blood and a serious illness. she might die"

the straight forwardness took yibo aback, his mouth gaping like a fish on water

"she might die" he heard himself repeating the doctor's words and yibo fears. "why would she have that kind of illness that could take her life? she's so lively and—" he tried to reason, felt himself losing his composure and more like how a-qing behaves earlier

yibo took a deep breath

then the doctor answered, "we found a trace of benzene in her blood, a terrifying amount" the doctor seemed to say some more but yibo heard nothing after, maybe after witnessing his almost outburst, the doctor must have pitied him and spared him the words that might tore him totally apart

"benzene?"

"yes. do you know how she has such an amount in her system?"

yibo shook his head because he did not. he's been the worst husband, a friend, to her for neglecting her, too much for the vow he made in front of her mother

yibo just wanted to punch himself, he's the reason why qinyang was suffering and he can't even do anything to relieve her of that pain. he wanted to cry, to let himself cry

"w-would she be okay now? would she heal now?"

"I'm sorry but i assume not. we need to clear the benzene out of her completely. we need to remove it and it would take time for how much it is inside her. then after that, it's still a question of whether she would survive or not. excuse me mr wang, i still have some patient to attend to, I'll call a nurse to get ms qing on a hospital bed"

and now yibo was left to process all the words as the doctor left him by himself

"there's still a chance, she will survive, she will heal" his words echoed at the empty hallway and yibo hoped

~

and that hope was crushed as much

yibo stands frozen in front of qinyang's hospital room, not able to look, not able to have the courage a-qing have as she weeped and watch how the doctor's performed cpr to qinyang unfold in front of her eyes

he doesn't want to hear them either, the ruckus inside as the doctors and nurses try to get qinyang's heart beat back

how can a-qing bear watch her girlfriend slowly succumb to death?