Never Not [BxB]

00 - prologue

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Saturday Night

Apparently everything happened for a reason. To Nathan, that all sounded like a load of bullshit. He felt like most things were actually just senseless. Much like the raging crush he had on his best friend.

Nathan hid his feelings well.

At least from Julian. Where the general public was concerned… Not so much. His constant overprotective nature and the horrible case of separation anxiety he outwardly displayed was louder than any blatant confession he could come up with.

Even in a room full of people, everyone who saw Nathan run about frantically knew who he was looking for at the party.

“Check the backyard!” Some familiar looking girl shouted to Nathan as he pushed his way through the dance floor.

With a mere nod in her direction, he rushed out to the backyard and scanned the garden area for his wildly drunk friend.

He didn’t have to search for long before he saw a head of brown curls with blonde streaks bob out of a small circle of people in the furthest corner of the yard. A very excited loud pitched scream that sounded a lot like Julian’s was being let out every four seconds as he made his way to the small group.

The expression on Nathan’s face wasn’t something new to anyone who knew him, a stern scowl where one of his eyebrows seemed a little higher than the other. The familiarity of his face didn’t make people less terrified of him though, that’s why the group slowly shifted when he jammed his way into the center.

Julian was there, rolling dice against an opponent most likely better at the game than he was. Julian wasn’t the luckiest guy around, nor was he the smartest when he was drunk.

That’s why he needed Nathan. At least that’s how most people saw their dynamic, and sometimes Nathan saw it that way too. He needed to be there for Julian. To protect him.

“Julian.”

The brunet boy hadn’t heard a thing over his own robust laughter and continued to play the basic game of poker with zeal. He already lost a chain and sixty dollars in the past four rounds but didn’t plan on stopping until he won at least once.

Nathan stood by patiently, sending the boy who he assumed coerced Julian into the game a chilling glare. The boys widened comically and he quickly made Julian aware that they had company.

Although he would never admit it to anyone; especially not himself, Nathan’s heart skipped a beat whenever Julian looked at him. His honey brown eyes glazed over with the effects of the night's drinks and a sure joy at seeing Nathan.

Julian threw himself into Nathan’s arms and the action made Nathan tense. He should’ve expected it, Julian was an affectionate person when he was drunk. So he held the boy close and grumbled, “Come on. It’s way past your bedtime.”

With little to no help from the other boy, Nathan made his way around the house with the drunk boy clinging to him. They got the fleeting looks they usually did when they were together and Nathan just ignored the tension it caused in his chest.

His pickup truck was parked across the street and he dragged Julian with him after looking both ways twice.
Settling Julian into the passenger seat, he buckled the boy in and took in a deep breath.

Julian smiled dazedly, “Nate… You’re really pretty.”

“Am I?” Nathan returned the question with a tired sigh. He didn’t take Julian too seriously when he was inebriated. He wouldn’t remember much in the morning.

A hum left the other boy, “Come here… I wanna tell you something.”

Rolling his eyes, Nathan listened nonetheless and shifted into the frame of the passenger side door and leaned into Julian.

Julian’s warm breath fanned his ear but he withheld the shiver that threatened to break out across his body. The other boy lifted a hand and laid it onto his shoulder.

“I love you so much…”

Nathan’s heartstrings pulled taut then released in a sort of helpless way, and it didn’t help when Julian let his head fall into the crook of Nate’s neck as if he couldn’t handle how gently he had delivered those words.

Call it stereotypical, but Nathan never said ‘I love you’ to his friends. Even Julian who he certainly did love. And perhaps because he never showed his affections, Julian never uttered those words to him despite being the more emotionally vulnerable of the two. Before now that is.

“Nate?” He coaxed softly.

A rare warmth spread through Nathan’s body and he simply melted into Julian’s arms moving forward and pulling the other boy close into an embrace that he would later agonize and lose sleep over.

He felt Julian shift, a light hand resting on his back and lips brushing against the skin of his neck.

This seemingly harmless embrace set fire to so much more between them. It made Nathan wonder if things really did happen for a reason.