Mystery of Love

Scene two: The first time that you touched me

It's been days, yet Regulus cannot erase the image of Barty towering over that other guy. It was driving him insane in ways he didn't even know he could feel. He hated this and he hated the way Barty made him feel. He tried so hard to avoid him, to not think about him. While it was working, that image kept hunting his mind.

Regulus would flip and turn around his bed frustrated, he would sit by the balcony and look out the window and hope the moon would ease the feeling in his chest. Nothing . Absolutely nothing worked.

At this point he just let the feeling wrap around him into an embrace that made him uncomfortable, and walked around on edge. Like if any second someone was going to jump out from behind the door and point at him, laughing " you like him idiot ". While he could continue to deny it and excuse it, they wouldn't be wrong - because, he did and fuck it was eating him alive.

While his mother read the words, is it better to speak or to die? while running her bony fingers through his hair in an attempt to comfort him - he glanced over at his father and brother who were lost in their own thoughts, as if those words resonated with them as much as they did with him.

Is it better to speak or to die, is it better to speak or to die?

The words played in his mind like an unwanted guest with a broken record. He laid in his bed that night, glancing up at the ceiling and wishing that the ocean sound lurking in his room would give him the answer he was hoping for. What would he do? Would he rather fail to speak, let the summer die out and leave himself with regret and questions about what could've happened, or would he speak, and give himself the possibility of brief happiness with Barty, the possibility of knowing what it would feel like, what it would taste like.

Whatever direction Regulus chose, he knew for certain that he would suffer no matter what, from the heartbreak of Barty leaving or from the regret of never speaking. The ache in his chest returned and he rubbed it in an attempt to sooth it, to comfort it. He furrowed his eyebrows, took a deep breath, slowly filling up his lungs before releasing it. He knew what he had to choose, and he knew the outcome was not in his favor. With a decision in mind, he let himself drift off to sleep with the ache growing a little bit more.

Morning came, unwanted, waking him up with the sound of movement in the shared bathroom. He opened a heavy eye and glanced at Barty as he moved around in the bathroom, getting ready for another day. He was dressed with a black flowy button up and swim trunks and Regulus felt his insides move, awakening another unfortunate guest. He blinked and quickly turned around to hide the intruder and groaned into his pillow. How can someone that wants nothing to do with him, have such an effect on his body - he even felt his eyes water in frustration. He felt like screaming and kicking and throwing a tantrum. It used to be so easy with James, and now here he was alone and with feelings so intense that he felt like scraping his skin off and switch it to a new one.

A clearing of a throat interrupted his mind's tantrum, he put his head up and turned towards the noise with a scowl. "What."

"I was wondering if you wanted to come with me, to get my printed sheets of my thesis?" Barty asked, scratching the back of his neck.

Regulus opened and closed his mouth, weighing his options, quickly realizing that this opened up the window that he was looking for - just them, alone, with nobody else around. He nodded slowly, his heart pumping in his chest. "Sure, I just need to uhm-.. Get dressed."

"Oh yeah right, I'll wait for you by the bikes"

"Mhm.." Regulus hummed, not making an attempt to move, for obvious reasons.

Barty stood there for a second longer, letting out an awkward laugh. "Right, okay.. See you outside" and quickly turned to his exit.

Regulus scrunched up his nose a bit confused, waited until Barty closed the bathroom door and laid face down, groaning into the pillow.