Half-Demon! Tanjiro AU

Chapter: 14: Doctor's Notes

Warnings: Discussions of mental health, child abuse, and mental breakdowns

Word Count: 3167

11/27/1923 - First Thoughts

Tomorrow, I will start my therapy sessions with the demons, well now "half-demons." Through careful planning, I've decided to interview Rui first. Reason being that he's a child demon. I don't really hold much animosity towards him since he was probably manipulated by the former king, Muzan Kibutsuji.
In all honesty, I'm not too eager for these sessions. It's not that I think they'll attack me. If they do, I've got my sword always on my hip, so I'll always be ready. No, that's not why. In reality, I just don't believe that they can change. They've eaten humans, so they've tasted blood before. I have no doubt that they'll be hunting for every opportunity to taste blood again. I can understand why Nezuko would be considered redeemed, but these other demons..I don't know.
The only reason why I agreed to this is because I know Tanjiro needs all the help he needs right now. He's stressed out and my disapproval will only make it worse. There are so many odds against him..I just feel like he could use a break. Besides, maybe some good could come out of this. That's what she would've wanted...
Anyways, tomorrow is going to be an interesting day. I'll keep logging in this journal after every session. For now though, I need to get some rest. Let's hope for the best.
Shinobu Kocho

11/28/1923 - My First Session With Rui

When the spider demon walked into my office today, he looked petrified. I immediately crouched down and asked him why. He said that he thought he was going to be scrutinized or even killed. I didn't know that I scared him that badly. Luckily with some quick reassurance, we were able to continue the session.
The first thing I noticed about the pup was that he looked like he was never satisfied with how things were. Specifically, his kimono. Rui constantly adjusted it, even though it fit him just fine. He also adjusted the soft pad I had him sit on. When I asked him why he did what he did, he told me that "it just didn't feel right." He said that he knew that everything was neat, but something told him that it didn't fit right. This was the first piece of his puzzle.
Next, we took a trip down memory lane. I asked him about his life as a human. This was simple enough. He told me that he had two loving parents, but an incredibly weak body. It was so weak that taking a few steps would exhaust him. That's why Muzan came to him. In a way, I can understand why he would accept his offer. As a doctor, I know that he would've only lasted a few more years if he wasn't converted.
Then, he started to grow upset. Rui told me that his parents tried to kill him because of what he was doing to others - eating people - but they were also going to kill themselves to join him. He didn't realize that and killed them in self defense. It all became clear.
Rui wanted to create a family so he could have a loving relationship once more. I unfortunately can relate to that. Wanting your family back after a terrible accident..One thing threw me off though. Rui was incredibly peculiar about the roles of the family. He even went as far as to plan our roles for the siblings, despite not having any siblings himself. Not to mention, the way he described his parents made it seem like they fit in the traditional roles.
When I asked him about this, he said that "If the family didn't work that way, everything would turn to ruin." He seems like he didn't want everything to fall apart again. As I observed him, I noticed that he felt like terrible things would happen if he didn't do something in a specific way every single time. He told me that he always counted to thirty seconds when he's washing his hands. Rui also told me that if things were organized chaotically, the day would be disastrous.
Furthermore, I can tell that all this change is stressing him out. He interchangeably grasps his hands together, showing that he's clearly nervous and upset. I know that a part of the stress was being interviewed by a Hashira, but the other problem was definitely the changes. As of recently though, there has been a discovery in this field that these traits perfectly fit.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder or OCD seems to be what the pup has. His past of having a feeble body makes it worse. With all the pieces I had, I tried to give him some advice. Since his anxiety seems to be incredibly high, I told him that he should try to rest in the small meadow outside the Infinity Castle. The light from the sun will help to soothe him and going or even playing outside might give him the confidence he needs.
Another thing that was necessary to be aware of were his intrusive thoughts. I told him to be aware of the meanings he's assigning to these thoughts. Rui seems to know that these thoughts are distracting, which is a step forward. So, I told him that he needs to disconnect the meaning behind the thoughts. That's the first step to stopping the compulsions.
Looking back on this, I forgot that Rui was a half-demon when we were talking about his OCD. He talked to me like a human child, not a bloodthirsty monster. The pup was genuinely afraid and somber. Nothing about him showed that he was faking his emotions. For the first session, it surprisingly went well. I know that the others won't be easy, but I do hope that they decide to come in.