Runaway Return

chapter one

Marisela

I'm now a mother to another gorgeous baby girl. Of course I was allowed to name her, exciting wasn't the word right now. I was happy because it wasn't a boy. Nasty it sounds but he would just be brought up just like his father and I couldn't deal with that, I couldn't deal with how unfair it would be to such a little life. I would never been able to look at my child without feeling full of regret and hate.

Larisa, that's what I called her. She's beautiful just like her sisters. She's got some lungs on her, but I let her get away with that after the most traumatic birth ever. I lost so much blood they thought I was going to die, luckily I didn't which if course is such a big relief for myself and my children.

Marnie started nursery last month or two ago, she's doing really well and made a couple of friends. She keeps asking me if they can come over, I just reply with it's not up to me best ask your dad, to which the reply is a big fat ugly arse no.

He will never change just constantly isolating us all from the big outside world from these walls. Maybe one day, that's all I keep telling myself. I have hope that it will happen. Should never ever give up on my dreams of being a free person with my children.

It always scares me that, he's going to want his son still, and awaiting the backlash of his mother because I haven't given them this yet. I purely couldn't care, maybe I was just meant to give birth to girls never boys. Which is something that I can live with happily, Luca on the other hand I think not.

Talking of the devil, as I swing my legs out of the bed, I hear his footsteps stomping to my room. We don't share a room no more, he can't face neither can I. He says I'm a disappointment to the Mafia- mob, I just laughed it off, of course I earned a slap. I'm meant to be on strict bed rest since giving birth. I will admit I'm very weak, even I can say that for myself but I'm sick of being cooped up in these four walls, curtains shut tight, lights off. It's all so dark and gloomy not for me. I use to be the life and souls of the party.

"Marisela, I hope you're resting."

With the words slipping out of his lips closer he gets to the door, I hear the door handle rattling letting me know he's about to enter any second. With that I decide to push myself off the bed best I can rushing towards to bathroom. He will only sit and make sure I'm eating and drinking, meaning he will not leave until I have completed this task. Still patronising as ever.

I made it into the bathroom on shaky legs but I did it. I sit myself on the toilet, closing my eyes... feeling a rush of dizziness hitting me. I try to push the feeling away and concentrate on something different. I've not seen my daughter for a couple of days now, so I can keep myself well etc. Stupid reason of you ask me, who am I to argue though.

"Marisela where the fuck are you?!"

Of course he's screaming like a crazy banshee. Naughty me leaving my bed for some normal, or funny reason that fact a simple pee. I know what he's here for to make sure I eat drink and give my daughter what she needs.

With his words being said I slowly pull my shorts up heading back into the bedroom. To find an angry Luca glaring at me, something I'm totally use to by now. I just brush it off, heading towards the curtains to pull them back. I hesitate for a moment, but I consider my choice. I pull the curtains back to a chilled morning in Spain. With the little bit of strength I have, I swing the doors open heading onto the balcony.

Suddenly I realise just how cold it is outside, nearly loosing all the strength I do have. The goose pimples, rising all over my bare arms within moments of the chill hitting me. Within seconds I feel his tight grip around my stomach. Warning me he knew this was going to happen, he was right so was the doctor. Strict bedrest blah blah. I just want to scream, surely it's not normal I tell myself each day of my life. Maybe I've came to get use to it now, who knows because i certainly don't.

"Get to bed, I'm not even going to speak another word about this situation."

With that he grabs my elbow tight, with a grip around my stomach he leads me back to my prison of a bed. He pushes me down, i land with a soft landing. He bends down, lifting my feet so effortlessly swinging them into the bed. Propping the pillows up so I'm half sat,half laying down. When he's successful he pulls the overs me, the cool brush of the silk makes me shudder. I think I preferred it outside to this.

"I was fine outside Luca, I'm been cooped up in these four walls for over a month. I'm starting to go crazy."

He leans down next to me on the bed, caressing my chin. It's a warning I know that by now. Slowly stroking my smooth skin, he hums.

"I will call for the doctor later on, see what you can and can't do now. I think that's fair enough. For now I've brought you food. Eat it all."

Argh. Shoot me right now, a prisoner. Stuck inside forever more. Might as well call me Rapunzel.