HuaLian oneshots

Lost but found again

A oneshot requested by solandyx where Xie Lian loses Hua Cheng's ashes ^v^

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Xie Lian was turning Puqi Shrine upside down. He was flipping over tables, looking under rocks, searching under the blankets, examining every single fucking crevice in the shrine, not leaving a single corner unchecked. One who saw all this and didn't recognize him could say they witnessed a madman, throwing a fit inside the extravagant shrine.

It wouldn't be surprising if no one recognized him though. With his unkempt hair, his robes hanging loosely off his shoulders, and him mumbling what sounded like gibberish at times could really give him the image of a madman. At some times he would scream out of frustration, yelling at himself and cursing words the old him would never even think of saying.

But Xie Lian didn't care about any of that. He just had to find it. He wouldn't stop until he found it. His hands scoured ever place he could think of- the floors, the bathing room, the kitchen. It had to be somewhere. Anywhere.

He couldn't believe he lost it. He's worn it on his neck since the day he was gifted it- and suddenly, he lost it.

He lost Hua Cheng's ashes.

Hua Cheng had left early in the morning, having needed to take care of some business back at Ghost City while Xie Lian was still asleep. Xie Lian remembered a fleeting kiss atop his forehead, the sounds of the bed shifting as Hua Cheng left. When Xie Lian had awakened, he felt a strange lightness on his neck, but hadn't thought anything to be wrong. It wasn't until he was putting on his outer robes that he finally noticed that his necklace was gone.

The ring was gone.

Hua Cheng's ashes were gone.

When he thought about it, he realized that he didn't remember having it when he went to sleep either. Once the fact had processed inside Xie Lian's mind, everything was thrown into chaos. He'd been searching the shrine for a good half of a day, but still nothing showed. He clearly remembered having it last night though, so where did it go?

Thoughts and worst-case scenarios plagued his mind as he searched, and his mind was waging a war- one part of him said he probably just dropped it somewhere, it was an accident, he would find it eventually. Another part of him whispered and threatened that someone had stolen it, that perhaps he accidentally done something to it, or- ...that the ashes were dispersed.

But no, Xie Lian wouldn't let himself go there. He couldn't go there. He argued with his mind: if it were dispersed, I would still have the chain, right? I would've sensed if someone took it from me too, so San Lang wouldn't have it. It must be here somewhere. And San Lang isn't... isn't dead, I sensed him leave this morning.

But Xie Lian had tried calling out for Hua Cheng through their private communication array. Again and again. Even saying his ridiculous password inside his mind. ...No answer. Perhaps he's just busy, Xie Lian thought helplessly, tuning out as his eyes scanned his surroundings, as he was thrown into a frenzy, pouring himself to search for the ring. 

His hands shook as he did, but he told himself he wouldn't cry. I won't cry. Don't cry. Calm down. You're fine. Don't cry.

Certainly, Xie Lian felt as if he was going insane. The gnawing anxiety, the constant urge to scream, and the lingering fear hanging in the back of his mind was slowly dragging him down. He hadn't eaten anything. Hadn't drunk anything. How could he, when the ring was missing? He was disoriented, staggering with each step, muttering incoherent assurances to himself. At this point it was more like gaslighting, to distract himself from the dark corners of his mind that wouldn't hesitate to spring out a worst-case scenario again. This was even worse than when Hua Cheng had dissipated into a thousand butterflies. At that time Hua Cheng had told him he would be back, and so Xie Lian believed him. But now? Now the cases were much different, and Xie Lian was on the brink of despair.