HuaLian oneshots

Past the Past

No. Nonononononono. Please. Help. The pain exploded inside him, an excurciating wave of nerves screaming:

Help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me help me-

It hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts... it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts it hurts IT HURTS ITHURTSITHURTSITHURTS

Why can't I die.

WHY CAN'T I DIE?!

...

Xie Lian shot upright in bed, dripping in cold sweat head to toe as he trembling, tears streaming down his cheeks in never-ending rivers. Phantom pains seized his chest. He thought he was past all that. He should be past all that. It's been hundreds of years- why now? Why when he was happy?

He heard shuffling beside him, and Xie Lian suddenly remembered Hua Cheng next to him. The ghost king sat up, the bed shifting from his weight, and concern laced his voice. "Beloved? What's going on?"

"Ah... did I wake San Lang?" Xie Lian forced out, his breath shaky. He was glad his back was facing him. "I apologize- it's nothing- I'm fine. Go back to sleep." Not that the two really needed sleep, for they weren't mortal.

Hua Cheng frowned, cupping Xie Lian's face to make him face him. He took one look at his beloved's face, and his eyes softened. "...Another nightmare?"

These nightmares were nothing new to the couple. Sadly, Hua Cheng knew that no matter how far Xie Lian might push those feelings down, they had taken place in a rough time of his life, so certainly it was not easily forgotten. He brought Xie Lian into an embrace, resting his head against his chest, stroking Xie Lian's head as he silently sobbed, his body shaking like a leaf.

Hua Cheng murmured sweet, comforting words to him, hoping to ease his husband of some of his discomfort. His heart ached seeing his lover like this. He wished to rid his god of his worries and and protect him no matter what, but how can he protect him from his mind?

"...I'm sorry," Xie Lian suddenly mumbled hoarsely, voice muffled by Hua Cheng's shirt. Hua Cheng shook his head.

"There's nothing Your Highness should be apologizing for." Usually Xie Lian would apologize for being in such a mess, and apologize for bothering Hua Cheng this late at night, but this time, his apology seemed to have a different weight to it.

Xie Lian seemed to ignore Hua Cheng and continued. "I'm sorry for never seeing you back then, I'm sorry for forgetting you until recently, I'm sorry for treating you badly, Wu Ming." His voice cracked as he spoke. "I'm sorry you had to see me on that altar, I'm sorry I dragged you through all this trouble all these years. It should've been me, Wu Ming, not you." He broke after that last sentence, unable to hold it in any longer.

The guilt, the pain, all flowed out. Sometimes Xie Lian thought Hua Cheng was too good to be true, because- why would someone follow him as long as Hua Cheng had? He had seen Xie Lian at his worst, but he still stayed by his side.

Hua Cheng's heart would've shattered in his chest if he had one. He held Xie Lian tightly as his beloved sobbed, letting out all the anguish he's held in for the past 800 years.

"Nonsense," Hua Cheng whispered as he rubbed circles on Xie Lian's back. "I regret nothing, Your Highness. I will forever stay your most devoted believer, now and forever. Just being with here with you now is enough."

"Please don't dwell on the past, love. We're here now, we're safe, White-no-face is gone. I'll always protect you." 

And soon Hua Cheng also felt tears streaming down his face, and the two cried in each other's arms, cried because of all the hardships and separations they went through, and cried because of the separate pains of their pasts. But soon they also cried because they found each other, time and time again, as if fate would always stick them together. They cried because they are happy they have each other, and thankful they found someone who truly loved them.

After what seemed like hours, exhaustion crept in, and all the tears had been used up. Xie Lian now lays his head on Hua Cheng's chest on the bed, tracing small patterns on the ghost king's hand.

"...Thank you, San Lang," Xie Lian whispered finally, his voice raspy from all the crying. "Thank you. For staying by my side."

Hua Cheng hummed. "I love you, Your Highness."

"Please, beloved, we're past that. Call me by my name," Xie Lian said softly, nuzzling against his husband's nightwear. 

"I love you... Xie Lian."

"And I, you, Hua Cheng."