𝐒𝐎𝐔𝐋𝐒 𝐀𝐍𝐃 𝐒𝐔𝐍𝐒, apollo

𝐱𝐢. shadows and sunbeams

ONLY NOW THE REALISATION dawned upon me of this situation as I sat on maybe a seven-foot cliff on the beach.

I remember when my mom had told me why I was on this earth. It was a simple answer, I was an accident, a mistake. That I wasn't supposed to be born. I suppose that's a bit harsh on a ten-year-old. I think she said it during one of our arguments.

Our relationship was always like this, we argued every time we talked. She always blamed me for something. Everything was always my fault.

Now that I think about it, I think she knew. I think she knew who the man she slept with was. And I think, that deep down, I knew that what I saw, what I felt, wasn't just my imagination running wild.

A memory swarms my mind as I stare out the ocean and let it engulf my senses.

I slide down my door and wipe my tears away. I hated this. I hate her. Why can't she just go back to the stupid hospital, at least people want her there.

I choke out another sob as I bury my head in my knees. Who am I kidding? I want my mom here too. But she doesn't want me here.

"That's not true."

Scrunching my brows, I lift up my eyes, but I can't see anything, It's too dark.

"I suppose that's my fault, little princess."

I look around the room, the voice sounds scary, but I'm not afraid of it. I like to think that I'm the bravest out of all fifth graders. I slowly stand up. And look around, yet the darkness doesn't change.

"Who- who are you?" I asked.

A chuckle rang out, but it didn't answer me. I asked again, "I said, who are you?"

"Don't blame your mother for this, she's merely a mortal."

"A mortal?" I repeated. "Isn't it some old word for humans?"

Another chuckle, "Yes, I guess it is. But you're not like your mother. And you're not alone, never."

I wiped another tear. "Well, that's not true," I repeated the voice's earlier words. "Mom doesn't like me, she likes the hospital more. And Anna isn't real friends with me, I heard her laughing with one of the mean girls about my backpack earlier. But I don't get why, Star Wars is cool."

"Remember when you were little," The voice started. "You had this imaginary friend... what did you name him? Ah, yes, Colt." I could hear the amusement lacing his tone.

I crossed my arms, staring at the darkness, "How do you know? And technically it wasn't a friend, it was a dog. I always wanted one. But he's not real. And I'm alone."

"But he is real."

"I don't believe you."

"No?"

"No," I argued.

Suddenly I let out a gasp as out of the shadows a little dog ran out. It was a shadow itself, I realised. And it looked just like the one I had imagined, a little French bulldog. It playfully grabbed one of my slippers and munched on it. I let out a teary laugh.

It turned his attention to me and assessed me, dropping the slipper and warily started coming in my direction. I stretched out one of my palms and it smelled it.

A second passed, and then the next one, the dog hopped onto me and started licking my face. I laughed and went to pet him, he felt real.

"You're never alone, my little princess. Always remember that."