I hated her.
I hated her.
I HATED HER.
With every finer of my being, with every cell within every organism within every organ within my body I hated her.
I hated the way she looked, when she was confused, when she was angry, when she was sad. I hated how she dressed, how she talked, the sound of her voice. I hated how she never left my mind, how she plagued every waking moment. There was nothing I hated more than her, nothing else I could despise so passionately, she was agony, pain and suffering and I hated her.
I hated how hate and love was two sides of the same coin, how she ruled my mind, my days, my life. I hated how I longed, how I craved, how I hated. I couldn't stand it.
The only thing I hated more than her was me and that blindsided, horrifying, disgusting, cross-toed, short, ugly, stinking, foul, unlovable, inbred, egotistical, narcissistic swine of life who insisted on trying to spend his useless, soon ending day with her.
I had been pacing in the astronomy tower for an unknown amount of time. I hadn't gone Wednesday, in fact I had been out of town. By that I meant locked up in my dorm for two days. I couldn't bear seeing her. I was going insane. It was Friday and I was back. There was only one potion left and it would be over, I wouldn't have to stand next to her, I wouldn't have to suffer. My skin was itching, begging to be peeled off from the insanity.
Many times had I wondered if she had slipped me something, if this was a magical reaction but I know it wasn't true. I had only myself to blame. I hated her. I close the door and took my place by the desk. She was quiet, which made me want to scream. My fists tighten as she goes about the potion. My jaw clenched as I stare into the wall ahead.
- You can do this part.
Her words are cold and factual, and unanswered. My movements are stiff and tense, like I'm off auto-pilot. Blinking and breathing is manual. Everything is manual, auto-pilot was too dangerous.
I could smell her perfume from where I was standing, it was fresh, light, gently floral and citrusy. I might have to step outside again. Jesus Christ. Merlin.
The coin had started to spin in my mind, I was tip-toeing on the line between them and it was just a matter of time before I fell. Another whiff of her perfume and I stumbled, almost falling as I walked the line.
In reality I tense up, closing my eyes briefly. I must look absolutely pissed. I am, but not in the way someone would think. Its more than anger, a burning, passionate rage.
- Lorenzo?
Im back immediately, and without looking I answer.
- What?
- Are you going to add the-
I get to work on the potion before she can finish. I wonder how long I just stood there until her voiced reached me. It's dark outside, the candles slowly burning out as we finish. I can even hear her breathing. I clench my jaw, I know if I clench it hard enough, long enough a ringing will start and I can tune it out. Vicious torture is what it was.
- We are done.
Thank god. I cant stand another minute. I dip a bottle into the cauldron, seal it and put it on the desk.
Later that night I get a text from her. The second I see the notification I jump.
S: I finished the writing, I wrote the conclusion too. We don't need to see each other on Sunday.
S: *10 pictures attached*
I read the entire essay from the comfort of my room. Its amazing. What else could I have expected. It made me sick, I felt like I was going to throw up. Maybe I was.
I wish I would see her on Sunday, I didn't know why and I hated both equally.
I disgusted myself with the state I had let myself fall too.
I tried to sleep again, but for as long as she starred in my dreams my I would be restless.
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Snakes that bite
Fanfiction"Snakes are special. Most of them are harmless of course, but there are some that are so venomous that they will kill you before you even know you were bit. That's the kind of snake Lorenzo is." #1 berkshire This is a Enemies to lovers fan fiction a...
