It's a Lovely Day in Piltover (Lux/Jinx)

Chapter 16: Painting the Town

The mood was a little sombre as she stepped into Morri's office. Getting comfortable while Morri waited for the kettle to finish boiling. All in all, things couldn't really be better for her, could they? Engaged to Lux, finally figuring out what sex was... meant to be like? But sex felt like the wrong word for that first exploration of each other last night. Making love felt closer, but -

Powder sighed and lay down on the couch. The sight of Lux's eyes, the same shade as her own - that wasn't something she wanted to think about. But Morri was here for talking to about the things that she didn't want to think about.

Her thumb traced over the half-heart on the inner side of the ring. Now that the engineering excitement has passed, the proposal done - what if she grew too reliant on it? On the hextech. Like Vi had gotten used to the gauntlets. Would it make Lux's Light harder to control? Was combining that with Jinx's natural Shimmer gong to put Lux through the kind of high that trenchers became husks chasing after?

"You're quiet today, Powder." Morri noted as she stepped in with her steaming mug of tea, shutting the door behind herself with a gentle but solid thunk. "Is everything okay?"

"It should be." Powder huffed, rolling onto her back. Staring at the black ceiling. "It should be. Everything's gone right. Everything's just - amazing right now, technically."

"But..."

Deep breath. "Yeah. But." The gestures were probably entirely lost on Morri but it helped her cogitate. "I'm... so much has happened so quickly, but rushing things isn't what I'm worried about? It's like... so, Lux. Lux and I um - we're engaged now. Which is awesome! It's great! It's - I'm already struggling to imagine life without her in it, and she feels the same. It's great. But... gah there's so much complex stuff to sort through and every time I try get started on detangling one part, another butts in and I start working on that and lose all the progress I made figuring out the first thing. Do you know what I mean?"

"Yes. Which is why we try and handle each thing as it appears, one at a time. Or at least, that's the advice I'm meant to give." Morri settled in her dark chair, in the dark room. "But often handling things, one at a time, is easier said than done." A pause, while she drank. "Congratulations, by the way. Though, if you don't mind me saying, you two have moved rather quickly, from what little I know about this sort of thing."

"Heh, you think we're moving fast? You should see my sister.Then again, we've all been moving fast even by Zaun standards. Life's short, y'know? But um, thank you. I'm - not sure if I'd have ever been able to make it to where I am without your help." She wished Lux was here to hold while she cracked open her ribcage to inspect her heart.

"... I think you would have. You are stronger than you know." Morri took another sip. "Do you want to maybe share some of these complex things so we can attempt to detangle the chains of them together?"

"That - yes please." Powder sat up and tried to figure out which would be best to figure out first. Lux killing a dude was practically a non-issue, Powder was more worried about her coworkers trying to take her back once they found out. The sex was... she took another deep breath. "So one of the things is um - last night. I've had sex or - something approaching it when I was Jinx a few times, but uh. My issues and the... weird inconsistent sexuality - I think - sorry, words are hard."

"It's okay. Take your time."

"It's like - you think you understand something. Right? And you've decided you're not interested. But then you... experience it uh... properly? That doesn't feel like the right word, but - yeah. And now I don't know what to think. Like - right now I'm not interested. Does that - mean that I wasn't interested earlier? But that's not right. And - does it mean I'll never be interested again?"