The Balance Begins

III

Briellyn

As the cool breeze whips around me, I shut my car door, clutching the lunch bag I've brought and white roses close to me. This graveyard has been like a second home, I have dinner here every Wednesday with her for the last three years since I've moved back. Today is different. That nightmare last night scared me to my core. The burning sensation on my hands and forearms felt so real. I still feel the painful tinge, honestly. I shake off the memory and take a deep breath before heading over to her stone. It's still warm out but as evening approaches, the temperature drops quickly, the cold wind a warning to what's to come.

I place the white roses to her headstone before sitting down in front of it. Aubrey Donado, loving wife & adored mother. 1960 – 1992. It's close to the anniversary of her death. "So, for tonight's meal, I brought your famous meatball sub. Seriously mom, you made so many delicious meals that I can't ever pick a favorite. Oh, and I have news for you!" I start, as if she's sitting right in front of me; legs crossed, mirroring my excitement. I swear, if anyone saw this, they'd think I was nuts.

I've never invited anyone with me, not even my little sister Sky. I've thought about asking Justin to join me a few times, but it just doesn't feel right asking anyone to share in our moment. Maybe when I get married. I'll bring my husband here and introduce her to him. The thought makes it difficult to swallow, that lump in my throat swelling. I sniffle and put the thought out of mind.

I take a bite of the obnoxiously large half of a sub, covering my mouth as I talk while chewing, "Before I get started, I have to apologize for not calling my father. I don't know how much of his hatred I can take right now. I know you would frown on it, but mom, it's tough. I wish there was something I could do that would help him. He's had several sober moments, but last year of high school sent me running back. So, unless I can bring you back from the dead, I fear he may be beyond my reach. I'll keep trying though."

I go on to tell her about the new business venture and how promising I believe it to be. Just as I finish the thought, I catch a glimpse of my now bandaged thumb. "You know mom, if you want to talk, I'm always here. You don't have to scare me. You know the kinds of things I see on a regular basis, I don't want to be terrified of you too." My eyes burn with the visuals of the nightmare, silencing any further words I could convey to her. She was such a beautiful and elegant woman; it isn't fair for my mind to warp her memory like that. I strive so hard to be like her, someone she'd be proud of, because heaven only knows there is no pleasing my father. I'm still trying though.

We sit together in silence for almost twenty minutes after that, me eating a few more bites of the delicious sub and her spirit just smiling at me before she disappears within the evening light. The chill in the air seems to take hold of me as the hairs on the back of my neck stand on end more than usual. I glance around the cemetery and all the other visitors have moved on, leaving me alone in the vast graveyard.

"Briellyn," the familiar voice taunts, a man's voice that I've grown accustomed to since hitting puberty. Every once in a while, after a horrible nightmare, or him being the nightmare, would his voice and presence linger on me.

"You're not real," I mutter, hastily cleaning up the little bit of containers I brought with me to return to my car.

"I'm here," he whispers, his words echoing my ears as I grasp the lunch bag with all my might. When I final return to my car, it's covered in a light purple substance on the driver's side, like the evil tried to get in. Seen this movie before, we're not doing this today. I shake my head and pull out my phone, immediately dialing Justin.

He answers after only the first ring, "Hey you, I was just about to text —"

"Can you come get me?" I interrupt, putting my hood up as the chill feels closer.