In My Neighbor's Bed

Ch. 20: See You Again

Why now? Why now? Of all the times he had to ask about an "encore" to our little performance, why did it have to be now?

I wasn't ready yet. I needed time. Time to think, time to plan. I wanted to find a way to explain everything to Mason without hurting or upsetting him in some way. I wanted us to end things on good terms.

I wasn't really worried about him being vengeful or anything like that. Honestly, he just didn't strike me as the type. That said, I didn't want to end things harshly either.

I wasn't lying earlier when I said that I liked him. Sex or not, he was one of the few people—hell, who was I kidding, the only person I felt like I could have an actual conversation with in this picture perfect nightmare of a neighborhood. The last thing I wanted was to burn bridges with the first person in forever who I actually felt some kind of connection with.

But maybe burning this bridge was what I needed to do. That way I wouldn't be stupid enough to cross it again.

I could lie to myself all I wanted. I could try to say that this was a one-time thing, that we were just having some casual fun, that it would never happen again. But I knew they were all lies.

The simple truth was, I didn't have the willpower to resist him like that. If I did, would I have ever opened my curtains again after that first night? Would I have kept putting on those little window shows? Would I have started calling and texting him? Would I be here right now?

No. If I stayed in contact with him, then I was sure it would happen again. And again. And again.

Still, I just couldn't stand the idea of letting go of somebody who made me feel the way he did. Both in bed and in life in general. Maybe that made me flaky. Maybe that made me selfish. But most of all, it made me feel hopeless.

"Is it your husband?"

Mason's voice was low and calm. His face was gentle with a sort of somber understanding.

I let out a dry laugh and shook my head. "No. That's honestly the least of my concerns with this whole situation."

"Then what's the most of your concerns?" he asked, forcing a smile on his face. "The last thing I want to do is pressure you if you're not into this. I mean, I get it. We never exactly agreed that this would be a regular thing or anything.

"But I do like you. And I would like to keep this up if you're up for doing it too. So, what concerns do you have exactly? Maybe we can work it out somehow."

I drummed my fingers on the table, thinking carefully. What concerns did I have? About a million. And the number just seemed to keep growing every time I thought about it. However, I guess there was one thing I could start with that had been nagging at me for a while now.

"Well, to start, I guess I want to know what your motivation is in all of this," I said pointedly. "Not to be rude, but you seem awfully invested in keeping up whatever the hell this thing is between us. And unusually so for a woman you've known less than a week and slept with once."

"Twice, technically!" He beamed.

I narrowed my eyes at him. He immediately slouched down, defeated. He rubbed the back of his neck awkwardly, giving a small shrug.

"Okay, okay. Bad timing on the joke. Sorry," he mumbled awkwardly.

However, it didn't take him long to regain his composure. He sat up straight, looking me firmly in the eyes. "Alright, first, I'll admit that you're right. I have been kind of pushy about us keeping this going. But I swear I don't have any hidden agenda or sinister motivation for it. I just like you.