Stop Pretending | Saltburn

Chapter 7

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All Ronan could think of was the night of the summer ball; it was sweet and bleak during the evening but turned into a hot and sweaty night of fun. He could admittedly say it was better than his underground punk parties, better than any hard drug he tried once, better than any cheap or expensive alcohol. Having sex- being one with Farleigh was more than a taste of ecstasy. It was that one dangerous drug people called love. Ronan knew he loved Farleigh, but not in this way. He was in love with him to the point of obsession and possession.

"Are you fucking listening to me!" Ronan had returned home a day after that beautiful night, being told that someone from Saltburn would come and claim him. It had only been a day, and he missed Farleigh's voice, but instead, he was being spat at by his father.

"Micheal, please, he is a young man. His grades are all straight As; you have to be at least proud of him." Ronan's mother, Lauren, was glowing with confidence. Her hair was shorter, similar to a shaggy pixie, and it was no longer that strawberry blonde his father loved so much. She was in her natural state for the first time in years: black, but it was more jet black.

"Straight A's, Pfft! this fucker changed the fucking major entirely! You are supposed to become a fucking doctor, not do this music bullshit!" Doctor Abbott slapped the report cards and letters from the school in Ronan's face and smiled, finally seeing his work paid off.

He passed everything perfectly despite his long nights of partying, drinking, and doing drugs with his band or simply being with Farleigh and his cousin; he passed, and he did something good that made him proud, and he began to tear up.

"You know damn well he never wanted to be a doctor. He would hate it! For Christ's sake, he was always meant to save the world with music! not potentially killing his patients!" Doctor Abbott raised his hand against her but was stopped abruptly by Ronan grabbing the man's waist.

"Enough!" He hissed, twisting the man's arm in front of him. "You don't get to control my fucking life anymore... I get to do what I want- I've always had the fucking choice to do whatever I pleased, but I was so fucking scared of you! Ha! I thought if I didn't do as you wish, you'd kill Mom, and he almost did! I used to think we moved so much because of me... but no, we moved because mom would visit the hospitals too much, right? It was starting to look suspicious. And you couldn't help but blame your only child- no, your 7th child you forced mom to have after all of those abortions! Ha, you are the most pathetic little boy I've ever seen!" He pulled his father's arm out of his socket, causing him to collapse and scream bloody murder.

Ronan looked at his mother, who couldn't look any prouder but still felt shame for everything her child had been through. "You people are terrible in every way... I know you paid that man to be my damn teacher back in Melbourne... Do you know that he raped me? Do you, mom?"

"I'm sorry... Ronan, I should have protected you; I-" Ronan shushed her, looking back down at his father, who began to calm down and get used to his pain.

"You both knew and father dear didn't want people knowing his son was bent over and fucked by a pervert! Right, Michael?" the Insanity of the reality Ronan faced began to connect individually. He hated these people; his mother meant well, but his father did not. "Right, Michael? We left for America immediately when you noticed all the signs. All my pleads for my father to man the fuck up and help me, but no, you are a child who pretended a child who hated me for everything I am! That shit fucked me up!"

"What the fuck do you want from me, Ronan! Huh? A sorry? An 'I should have protected you more' sob story? No, I did what I thought was best, but you still turned out to be a failure!" He stood up, holding his arm as the two stared each other down.