Forbidden Afflictions // Alfie Solomons Peaky Blinders

(23) Unusual Cruelty

After a shower and putting on a clean, casual slip, she not only felt a little less violated from recent checkups, but more comfortable in joining the people downstairs. She pulled her arms through a thin-knit sweater and filled in her eyebrow, put something on her eyes to make them less red and more appealing, and covered her wrists, chest, neck, and ankles in an oil comprised of sandalwood, lilac, and vanilla.

She was aware of how she wanted to dress to impress. She felt the urge to doll herself up, wear a nice tasseled dress, and put her hair up in an intricate bun with diamond pins that would compliment whatever jewelry she would have worn on her ears, neck, wrist, and fingers. However, it would have been a dishonest representation of her femininity.

As much as she liked her makeup, her jewels, her hair, and her occasional dress, she would have preferred to stick to a night slip and a robe if nobody but Alfie were home. She would have tied her hair up messily and kept her face clean if it weren't for the company downstairs.

She wanted to impress them. She wanted them to think highly of her and not think of her as a half-woman or a careless Gypsy not accustomed to the high life—or a life in the city at all.

She knew so much about Alfie's family and yet knew nothing of their opinions or personal upbringings. Alfie was raised by his mother and his mother alone. Freya assumed his cousins were raised differently by theirs.

She was incredibly nervous and yet she preferred it like this. Alfie didn't have a big primary family like she did. She could only imagine how stressful it was for Alfie to be working with her brothers, let alone meeting them as family. With John, it seemed easy enough, and yet they began on rocky waters. With Arthur and Tommy, it was impossible to treat them the same. Ada was indifferent to him, not being tender but not being rude either when speaking with him. With Finn, he was much more of a child than anything else. He liked drinking and being with people his age. He liked fighting and guns and smoking and not only was Alfie too old to be on the same level, but Freya had outgrown that lifestyle a long while ago.

His mum was gone, his dad didn't exist, and his only brother was in jail. Meeting four of his cousins now was nothing in comparison to that. The situation Alfie was in when meeting Ada and Linda, and when growing closer with Esme and her kids was wrong. He should have never had to do that and yet he did it all alone.

She considered herself far more fortunate than most.

Furthermore, she had other things to stress about.

Deciding not to dwell on potential, she took herself downstairs and followed the joyous chatter filtering in from the drawing room. She wore stockings and men's socks to keep her feet warm so when she came down the steps and neared the open door she was invisible to the ear.

Stalking through the halls allowed her to understand what she was walking into. She could hear people speaking over one another and soft opera could be heard in the background of it all. She tried to decipher the words but one conversation was held in Alfie's tongue and everything was difficult to hear from so far away.

When she reached the doorway, the fire cracked in the fireplace. The room was warmly lit from candles and lamps but there was something about the laughter that was warmer.

Freya took the ends of her sweater and wrapped herself tighter, leaning against the doorframe and admiring the people inside.

Anna and Solomon were stood by the door to the downstairs library on the far end with a glass of wine and rum at hand. They both wore the same smile as they shared stories and expressed their retellings with dramatic hand gestures. Freya felt she was simply watching a pair of siblings tell each other about their lives after so many years apart. Unlike her own, they didn't seem to be arguing or yelling in any manner. There was a familiarity in them and yet Anna and Solomon couldn't be any more different to Freya's own siblings.