Beta Squad ♡ bxb ♡ one-shots

Niko x AJ [touch starvation pt. 2]

[Sorry it took so long, I had to read over it a dozen times and then decided to split it into another part, that will be updated during the week. 

Oh well. Enjoy<3]

When the doorbell rang, Niko jerked up from where he was crouched on the carpeted floor.

He unlocked his phone with his free hand and typed out a short message, letting the boys know to let themselves in with their spare key. Sighing softly, he stroked over Aj's knuckles before raising his head to admire his friend a bit more, only to find Aj's eyes already open, staring at him.

Niko flinched and emitted a short, high-pitched scream, tightening his hold on Aj's hand.

Aj blinked.

Niko clutched his shirt over his heart and stared at him with wide eyes.

Aj blinked again, leaving his eyes closed for a fraction longer as is considered appropriate blink length and snorted weakly.

Niko shook his head and whispered into the silent room, "you can't scare me like that."

Aj looked down at their intertwined fingers and let his eyes wander over Niko in his place on the floor. "Sorry," he breathed out, "I'mma tell you I wake up before I open my eyes next time."

Niko smiled briefly before his expression got serious again. "That's not what I meant," he glanced at Aj's curled up body on the bed.

Aj averted his eyes and dropped Niko's hand, pulling his own close to his chest. He was about to reply when they both heard keys turning in the lock, followed by subdued voices making their way inside.

Aj sat up in the bed, and Niko could feel his gaze drilling into the side of his head, from where he was facing the door. "That's Amin, Sharky, and Kenny. I've called them." Niko managed to get out, finding the courage to turn to look at Aj, who had a betrayed look on his face.

"You passed out from a panic attack, Aj!" Niko exclaimed. "If you don't want to talk to me, talk to any of them, but you have to speak with someone!"

Aj fixated on a spot on his bed, trying not to snap at Niko. He meant well, Aj knew he did, and it infuriated him in a special kind of way he could barely describe.

How could he even begin to explain how much he didn't deserve their kindness? How could he justify freaking out over something as simple as hugs? How would they react finding out he's a freak?

The possible outcomes of the scenarios in his head didn't look pretty, and oh no, Aj really couldn't do it.

What he needed was a way to delay the conversations, a pause, something like a big distraction -

Maybe the panic would come back if he concentrated enough on his previous thoughts. It was a solid start, until he noticed how incredibly drained he was from his earlier outburst, how the feeling of dread in his stomach hadn't gone away in the first place and how the thoughts just left him feeling even more shitty, instead of starting the panic that should get him out of the talks.

He was painfully aware of Niko's eyes on him, trying to assess him. "I don't want to talk right now, Niko."

It came out in a snappish way, and Aj winced internally at the heat behind the words that he didn't feel at all.

How had he already fucked up again? God, he couldn't do anything right, he was useless, he-

"That's okay."

Niko's voice had stayed calm, and Aj turned his head carefully. Niko didn't look very mad. Aj tilted his head in confusion and Niko's eyes got a bit sad.