Sugarcoat [Anhane]

Morning Routes [8.0]

For a strange reason that An couldn't comprehend, her feelings and emotions were scattered every possible direction, the words Kohane had spoken to her for all this time rang in her ears as she had the girl gently resting on her chest. For all of this time, since the very start of..them, she had the lingering fear of what may occur to the girl if they were ever in a scenario of being exposed.

As soon as the girl had fallen asleep, An swiped directly into every social media platform, fully seeing the amount of exposure that they were now getting, her heart beating out of her chest as she scrolled. She also viewed the photo the netizen took, she wasn't awake for it, and it was only a kiss, but the amount of affection in it made it incredibly self explanatory.

"Kohane-chan dating? I can't believe it, why would she betray her fans like this! D:" One commenter wrote, the post reaching thousands of likes by the minute with many comments agreeing.

"This industry is fucked..so fucked." An grumbled to herself as she surfed past all the threats directing the indirect lover (herself) and looking at the things people said about her girlfriend in particular. The company had already made her hiatus post, attaching a photo of her from a recent photoshoot.

She read until she physically couldn't any longer, setting the phone down on the nightstand and looking back over to the girl on her. The wave of guilt rushed in upon the realization dawning on her.

"Could Kohane be in danger?" She thought to herself, looking at the girl. An had heard about the other incidents regarding female idols, more specifically, the dangers they face upon losing the protection of their company, she couldn't even imagine it. "This was my doing, wasn't it?"

The first time they had some exposure, it was something that they could pass off as platonic, hand holding really means nothing when you reach a certain age but being caught in a moment like that? Tossing away your whole life for a single kiss, at least that's how An views it. "Fuck..I think I'm gonna cry again." She said, blinking hard the first few times before a tear was forced out.

"She did say it, she told me she was willing to give everything up, I just didn't want that to become our reality." She reminded herself as she wrapped her arms around the sleeping girl, she soon felt a slight tug on one hand. Upon looking down in the dimmed light, she spotted Kohane gripping onto her wrist, it was a gentle pull but something that brought An back from her somber attitude. She smiled, probably for the first time in many hours that she did.

As she pulled her hair back, she felt something still being in it, upon grabbing grip of it between her fingers, she took hold of the daisy that Kohane had placed in her hair during that time at the fields, Kohane's flow of messages and verbal words flew back into her mind as she softly giggled, placing it onto the nightstand right beside her phone.

She loves that girl beyond belief, she wanted to protect her heart and keep her away from the world, was that selfish? By this time, An could care less what that meant.

Fear stayed in her heart, but she also felt the same rush that Kohane could've possibly felt, desiring to stay with her, maybe even run away with her?... "No, that'd be insane..I couldn't initiate such a thing, it's not a fairytale after all." An chuckled at the thought, her face soon fading to neutrality as she continued thinking about it. "We're in reality."

— — — —

Things definitely felt more off as the two of them woke up on an early Monday morning, not feeling the pure exhaustion as they had gotten out of bed, perhaps it was because they didn't attend any tightly scheduled shoots or long term performances the day before.

Kohane even had the energy to make a pastry in the toaster that day, despite only taking two bites of it before losing interest, it was absolute progress. "Do you think my parents would get mad if I spent more time with you?" Kohane asked, poking at her plated pastry with a chopstick.