Poetry in a diary

Tinted Heart

We have been friends since middle school but never lost touch
somehow, you were than a friend but much.
We were both in military school but couldn't make time for you on working days
rather on vacation,over calls or online at my own place.
Things started rushing as we grew older
you came to meet me last to last year's summer.
We used to call each other best friends at one phase
but never did I had to make myself chase
'cuz you always had been nice to me
someday, its going to be us.. no,it can't be.
I remember how you hugged me the last time we met
It's weird how its all set
since it all started in Grade7's vacation on the internet
far as I can recall
I was kinda afraid to make a move 'cuz you were quite tall.
You recently asked me out, probably as a joke.
Said you're looking for some company & support-'cuz that's how you spoke.
Seeing you with other girl mates,did kinda make me feel a little broke.
You had laughed but said you were serious
and your jokes were just so hilarious
and I'm myself with you and so I fuss.
We had been friends for so long,
didn't expect anything to ever go wrong.
I needed a shoulder to lean on
and my feelings were countless like a ton.
My thoughts were immeasurable
and I was too naive and feeble
while my standards were durable
and you were also stable.

My heart is copper stained and vintage,
old-fashioned, black and white, locked up in a rusted cage.
A part of my heart is green and its optimistic,
a part of it is blue and melancholic.

06.02.24