to my destiny 💫

012.

[jackie's perspective]

i had no words to say in response to cole. i knew he wasn't happy about not being able to talk, but he had taken it way too far. calling me a cheater? that was before i was even in my right mentality. it wasn't fair of him to say that when he had been the one to be in for 50% of it. like he hadn't cheated on erin and other girls before!

"you really ought to stop playing with people's feelings before someone else gets hurt," cole said with a blank, daring stare. what hurt the most was that he just rolled his eyes and walked off, not caring that tears were streaming down my face. 

i didn't even know what to do. i stood there in shock for what felt like hours. hardly any time had passed when katherine shouted "dinner!" up the stairs. i blinked over and over as more tears spilled onto my cheeks, but i could not move. i didn't know it was even possible to hurt so much-- and physically-- merely from words that came out of someone's mouth.

i don't know how much longer it was before katherine came upstairs to get me for dinner, but i hadn't moved an inch. the door had been standing wide open the entire time. katherine came around the corner and saw me. i didn't even want to think about how utterly disgusting i looked from crying so much. 

"jackie?" as soon as her brain processed what she was seeing, her eyes became full with pain and pity. "oh, honey," she spoke softly as she walked towards me with her arms open for a wide open hug. i didn't know anything in that moment other than the fact that i needed to get out of the house.

how was i supposed to even tell anyone what cole said to me? no one else knew what i'd done, not even grace or my uncle.

my muscles fired and my legs took off. i bolted down the stairs as tears continued streaming down my face. my brain did not register who was already sitting down at the dinner table as i ran right past it. "jackie?" someone asked. "what's going on?" someone else asked. 

the next thing i knew i was out the door and running down the road as far as my legs would take me. i didn't care where i was going; i just needed out. i finally came to a stop when my legs burned so much i could not keep going. i collapsed by a large boulder and just sat where i was and started bawling my eyes out until i could hardly breathe. 

after i finally stopped and tried to clear my head, it was too late to even recognize anything around me because it was pitch black. i was sure someone would find me soon enough because i was only on the side of a road, but i was exhausted. i wanted to go back to the house and sleep for hours, and because i had been so busy crying, i hadn't brought my phone with me either.

it was starting to get cold, so i curled up against the boulder next to the road and closed my eyes, trying not to listen to the sounds of nature around me so that i wouldn't get scared. if they didn't find me before the morning, it was going to be a very, very long night.

~~~~~~~~~~~~

[cole's point of view]

i had just put my plate down on the table and sat down for dinner when jackie came running through the kitchen and bolted out the front door. "jackie?" danny asked. dad frowned as he turned around from washing his hands in the sink and asked, "what's going on?" 

alex opened the door after her and said "should we... go after her? she's running." mom shook her head softly at the bottom of the stairs. "just give her time, alex. i think she just needs some time alone right now." alex stared at me intensely and asked, "do you know why she's upset?"

i wearily shook my head. she couldn't still be upset over what i said, could she? 

i guess i shouldn't have called her a cheater. 

okay, okay, i know i shouldn't have. 

it was a dick move of me, but i was still mad at her for just completely icing me out because of alex. i just couldn't imagine her losing it over just those two sentences. jackie's tougher than that. there's no way she would still be upset over that. if she didn't even care to not talk to me, there's no way in hell what i said could have actually affected her that much.

we ate dinner, and then courtney came over. we hung out in the living room just watching tv, but the whole time, i couldn't stop thinking about jackie. it was almost nine, and she still wasn't home yet. it was just then that courtney asked, "hey, is jackie upstairs? i have a quesiton to ask her." 

i shook my head. "uh-- no. i think she's hanging out with grace or something. i'm getting kinda tired, court. i'll see you tomorrow, okay?" courtney smiled and gave me a warm hug before a quick kiss. "see you tomorrow. sleep well, okay? you look really worried."

as soon as courtney was out the door, i ran upstairs to go get some shoes on and grabbed the keys to the truck. "where are you going with the truck?" dad asked as he saw me head towards the front door. 

"uh, jackie isn't home yet. i'm just gonna go pick her up," i replied. he nodded. "don't be too late. i know you guys are good friends, but it's a school night." i shook my head. "it's not like that, dad. i'm dating courtney. remember?" i asked with a smile as i raised my eyebrow. "i wasn't talking about that, cole," he said with a laugh as i walked out the door. 

it was a good forty five minutes before i spotted her curled up against a boulder, sound asleep on the side of the road. i pulled the truck over, got out, and walked over to her. apparently the truck had not been loud enough to wake her up. i hesitantly poked her a few times before she woke up. 

she sleepily opened her eyes, and i couldn't help the rage from exploding. "what were you thinking running away like that?! everyone was so worried about you, and you ran way too far! you could have been kidnapped or killed!!" jackie looked back at me with a sour face. "i was fine on my own. can you just take me back to the house?"

i sighed and looked away before looking back at her and holding out a hand to help her stand up. "look," i said with a relieved sigh, "i'm sorry. i'm sorry about earlier. i shouldn't have said that to you. i've done a lot worse than that, and i was just mad that you weren't talking to me." 

"why?" jackie asked abruptly. "what do you mean 'why'?" i asked in return. "why did you care so much? it's not like i've really talked to you in the past few months anyways," jackie replied. "you're still family, and-- and it just makes things more complicated when you refuse to talk to family," i said with a convincing shrug.

she nodded, and we started walking back to the truck, but then i stopped her in her tracks after realizing she probably hadn't taken what i'd said before that to heart. "okay, but seriously, next time you think about running off like that, don't," i said, gently grabbing her wrist. our eyes met, and i could tell she was definitely thinking about something deeper. her eyes were red and her cheeks were tear stained, and that's when i realized that she had been crying over what i said. i didn't necessarily know why, but it didn't matter in the moment. 

i don't know what came over me, but i pulled her into a very close hug and said, "you worried us, all of us, especially me. just be careful out there, new york. you're the smartest person i know. you shouldn't have to run because of something stupid someone else says."

we stayed like that for a moment, but she was the first to pull away and walk back to the truck. it was definitely a moment that caught me off guard, but i wouldn't trade it for anything.