The Very Thought Of You || Ryden Fanfic

Chapter 9

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It's 1:52 in the morning. I've been depressed for over 2 years now. I have bright red slits up and down my arms. People would be happier without me. I still have the handgun my father gave me when he wanted me to be brave. Do I do it?

I pace around my room for a solid half hour. The only person I really care about barely knows I exist. I deserve this.

I go on my laptop and I log into Facebook. The most trending thing is a new song by...

I roll my cursor over the headline. It's Panic!'s new song. I bring my laptop into the kitchen, where I have my junk drawer. I open it, and there it is. The handgun, waiting to be used. I grab it, and go back to my bedroom. Time seems to be slowing down. It's so heavy for a handgun.

I play the new Panic! song. Oh, it's beautiful. As I'm listening, I load the handgun. Hallelujah. What a beautiful name for a song. What a beautiful person who wrote it. What a beautiful life he's living.

At the end of the song, I sob. Brendon's voice echoes in my head. His beautiful runs. Those perfect high notes.

I stare straight down the handgun. It's like the gun is alive. The bullet holes are so big. It was like looking into Brendon's eyes. I look at it like I would look at Brendon.

"I miss you, too. I miss you like I miss no other," I whisper. "I just wish you told me sooner."

I pull the trigger.

*The End*