One day I'll have it all. // Williamson

Completely myself

I sighed softly, closing down my phone, making it stop vibrating, and putting it back down in the center console of my dashboard.

"Was that your best friend?" Leah asked me, and I nodded.

"Yeah. I... I'm not good at keeping secrets from her. And I wanna tell her about us. But if I do, I'm scared she's gonna tell my mom. I mean, not on purpose but... she's pretty clumsy." I explained, my eyes focusing on the road. "My mom knows I like a girl, but she doesn't know I'm... you know, in a proper relationship. And she doesn't know it's you."

Leah nodded understandingly, her gaze softening with empathy as she reached out to gently squeeze my hand. "I get it," she murmured, her voice filled with reassurance. "It's okay to be scared."

I sighed softly, leaning back against the driver's seat. "I just don't want to disappoint her," I admitted, my voice tinged with vulnerability. "She's been so supportive of me, and I don't want her to worry or feel like she can't trust me. She's been my best friend since we were like, 7. And I know she's gonna be supportive. I know. All she has ever wanted was for me to find a girlfriend. But... I know my mom, and I know her. She's not gonna keep that secret for long if I tell her."

"You shouldn't care about what your mom learns or what your mom thinks, Vale. If she's not supportive, it's her loss. You should only care about Charlotte. Because you know she will support you and be happy for you."

Leah's words resonated deep within me. She was right. Charlotte's support and happiness were what truly mattered, and I needed to prioritize my own happiness and well-being above all else.

"You're right," I murmured. "You think I should call her back?"

Leah's hand tightened around mine, her gaze filled with unwavering support. "Only if you're ready," she replied, her voice gentle and reassuring.

"Gosh, Leah, I-" I started, then sighed softly. "I swear sometimes I just want it to be over with. Tell everyone. And fuck what they gotta say about it. But it's just... it's so hard." Leah's gaze softened with understanding as she listened to my words, her empathy a comforting presence beside me in the car. "All my life I've lived in a place that teaches you being gay is a sin. You know? In Boyle Heights, they were... homophobic graffiti on the walls. And right beside that, graffiti saying 'we are not a minority', or when Kobe died, hundreds of tags and prayers written for him on the walls. I grew up basically thinking it was normal to be homophobic. Like it was normal to pray or normal to fight for what's right." I recounted. "I remember once when they launched this... LGBT center, to help young people you know, be themselves. Two days later, it had been vandalized, with stuff written on it like 'fuck trans people', and hum, 'fuck you all'. Just... hate, for no reason. Just because there were gay people, trying to be happy. You know?"

Leah listened intently, her expression filled with compassion and understanding as I opened up to her. Her hand remained clasped in mine, offering silent support and solidarity as I shared my experiences. "No one should ever have to feel afraid or ashamed of who they are, or who they love."

I nodded, my throat tight with emotion as memories of those painful moments flooded my mind. "I mean... I never felt, you know, concerned. Because I didn't think I was gay. But it still... I've never been homophobic. And it sucked, seeing everyone around me being okay with all of that happening. And now that I know I love girls, I mean... it keeps coming back. All this stuff. Especially my mom, telling me that gay people go to hell and everything." I sighed softly, feeling a weight lift from my shoulders as I shared my fears and insecurities with Leah. "Anyways, so, yeah... I just... I wanna end all this, you know? Say it once and for all."

"Then do it." Leah then said, and I chuckled at her words, shaking my head, before realizing she was being serious.

"What? No. I mean- it's... it's not that easy."