Miguel O Hara - AU Scientist (Across the Spider-Verse)

Chapter 6

"I don't understand. I need you to explain it to me. Explain everything."

It's not like you didn't expect this from Miguel. There was just so much that you couldn't control. It felt wrong to bring him into your world.

It's possible that's a cover.

The scary part is watching him walk away from you.

Miguel is still standing at a distance. You aren't sure if it's out of fear or disappointment.

Your shoulders drop defeatedly.

"It's not really easy to explain."

"Try."

A shaky breath escapes you, and when he sees the golden flicker of light once again return to your eyes, he swallows. You know he's still trying to fully process the very short encounter with a doppelganger. So introducing your abilities will definitely be a breaking point.

"I was born a mutant. I didn't manifest my abilities until I lost my uncle ten years ago. That's when I went into law enforcement. I was trying to do the right thing with my powers. But someone I cared about, Gavin Stacy, died and I..I couldn't do it anymore. I left that part of my life behind."

You step closer, and Miguel doesn't move.

"I'm what they refer to on other earths as Spiderwoman."

Flipping your wrist, Miguel flinches when a stream of web shoots out. It locks onto a glass nearby and you give it a tug. The second it's within your grasp, you squeeze and the glass crumbles under your hold like dust.

"I'm stronger, faster than the average human. That's only half of it."

There's no way you can hide this anymore.

"This whole time we've been working on the project, you've known from the start. But you said nothing."

"I..I was scared."

"Why? Why were you scared?"

"Because I'm..an anomaly. I shouldn't have existed."

All those years ago you tried to do the right thing. You really did. You served justice both in the office as an agent, and at night. But it changed completely when you lost Gavin and found out about canon events. Just the memory is a bitter reminder.

"I used to have a twin sister. In every universe there's only supposed to be one. One hero, one spiderman or spider woman. I didn't believe it at first. But the way she died when we were kids it just felt..wrong. When I found out the truth it was painful. I spent years hating myself for it. When I was finally able to get myself out of that hole I lost my uncle and then one of my best friends. It was like a curse had struck me. That's when I realized that as a hero, I was destined for pain. Everyone regardless of the universe, all of us with these powers, these abilities, we always lose the people we care most about if we decide to become heroes. So I gave it up. I decided that there were other ways to help my universe without constantly suffering loss. I just..wanted to be happy.."

It was selfish, but you couldn't bring yourself to go back out there. Not after you'd failed to protect the ones you cared about.

Over and over again.

"I know this is a lot, it might not even make sense. I should have been honest the second that we got involved. If you believe nothing else, please just know how I feel about you, that's real."

It's unrealistic to expect him to just swallow it all and accept every part of you.

The right choice right now is to leave. Miguel needs a chance to figure out if he really wants to be a part of this.

"If you decided that you'd rather take your chances with someone else, I would understand. I wouldn't blame you Miguel."

It hurts, but even if he broke this off, there wasn't a part of you that couldn't actually hate him for it. This is a life, his life. He knows what future dangers are ahead. That version of him also proposed that he would be back. Who knows with what kind of reinforcements.

"What did you say to me, the first time I told you about my disability. What did you say?"

Your brows knit.

"I..I don't understand I.."

"I understand. I don't expect anything from you. It's nothing to be ashamed of. You're you. We can discover what we are in the future. That's what you said to me. You didn't look at me with pity, or like I was broken. You didn't force me to change anything. You just smiled at me and told me that you were willing to endure whatever you could, as long as you were given a chance to care about me. To..love me.."

It's a bit impossible to look at him now, your gaze has gotten a bit swimmy.

"The circumstances are very different, but I understand now how you felt at that moment. I want you to give me that chance."

Is there a possibility that you've already been rejected and your mind has formed some kind of alternative?

Shaky hands move to the table for support.

It must be.

You try to read something, anything from his gaze. He's at your side in what feels like seconds. Miguel is holding your cheeks and you're sobbing.

"I know now that you've lost so much, no matter what, you're not going to lose me. So you don't have to be afraid. I'm not going anywhere."

"Y-You promise."

Miguel nods.

"I promise."

He leans in, sealing it with a kiss and you hug him.

You believe every word.