help me nick and charlie

chapter 8

Jack's pov:

The boys and I arrived at my house. My parents are on a business trip all month, that's the best thing that could happen, at least I don't have to hear them arguing 24/7!

I've known these guys for such a short time and yet they've already become so important to me. They are all three very kind and sweet. I'm glad they took the news this way, I didn't expect anything, but people are unpredictable. Wilhelm quickly realized I liked Charlie, I think I know why, but I want him to tell me about it. Honestly, I don't even think it's a one-sided thing, I noticed it from the first day i saw them.

"How long?" Simon asks. He sits across from me and looks away from me and Wilhelm, probably to see his reaction to his question.

"What?"

"How long have you been in love with him?"

"Simon!" Wilhelm  says reproachfully.

"No, it's okay, you have the right to know" I start to play with my fingers, I don't why, it's something I usually do, "we met when we were 4 and I already knew there was something different about me, but I didn't know what yet. We've never attended different schools; we've always done everything together" I smile at the thought of his smile printed in my mind and at all the memories we have together "in middle school I fell in love with him. No, I already felt something for him, for years now, but there I came into control of my feelings. I remember that day, for the first time I looked at him with different eyes, my heart beats went faster, and I felt a strange sensation in my stomach, they were butterflies. I remember every single detail of that day, from when I woke up to when I went to bed, how we were dressed and what we did that day" a tear runs down my cheek, perhaps because part of me had realized it's all finished.

They look at me touched by what I said. Did I use such moving words? Anyway, I just told the truth.

They have their eyes on me, and I don't know what to say. I can't lie to you, I usually really appreciate silence, but this kid of silence is quite deafening.

"Sorry Jack, I should go to the bathroom for a moment" Wilhelm breaks the silence like this. He gets up and waits for me to give him directions, but I prefer to accompany him, so that I can take a few minutes to distract myself with my cell phone.

"of course, I'll take you."

"Thanks"

We go up the stairs and enter the bathroom. In the meantime, I wait for him, I lose myself in my cell phone, but after almost five minutes he has not come out yet and the thing, seeming strange to me, leads me to knock on the door.

"Wilhelm? Is everything okay?" I ask standing outside the door.

Wilhelm's Pov:

Nick's words remind me too much of me and what I went through with Simon. I could not hold back the tears, not wanting to burst in front of them. I asked if I could go to the bathroom and he accompanied me, it was not exactly what I wanted, but I don't have the strength to reply.

"Wilhelm? Is everything okay?" I hear Nick from outside the door. I didn't think he was waiting for me outside.

I can't answer, I would have had my voice broken by crying and he would have heard it perfectly.

Knock on the door but even then, I can't answer. At that he enters the bathroom. I forgot to lock the door...

Fuck!

"Wilhelm" was not my intention to let him see me like that. He's already going through a shitty period; he doesn't need someone to look after.

I look in the mirror and see a fucking mess in front of my eyes. I am full of tears and my eyes are red like blood. The legs could give way at any moment, and I have to hold onto the sink.

"Why?" He points to the cuts on my arms that I made this morning. Honestly, I'm not even fully aware of why I'm cutting myself. Maybe it's a way to feel a pain that's different from what I already feel, or maybe it's a pain I can control.

My hands let go letting me fall dead weight on the bathroom floor, Nick tries to prevent the fall but fails. He holds me tight to him and now I  am crying in his arms.

Simon's Pov:

Nick walked Wilhelm to the bathroom, and they haven't returned yet. I get up and decide to go see in case something has happened.

"Where are you going?"

"I'm going to see if something has happened" is the truth, I'm always afraid that something could happen to the person I love. Whenever we take different paths, for example to go home, I feel bad knowing that something could happen to him, in that case I could not be there to protect him.

"Okay I'll come too."

We go up the stairs, the bathroom door is open and what I see breaks my heart.

I've always known that Wilhelm is a very sensitive guy and that emotions sometimes make him so strong that he can't control them, but I've never seen him in these conditions. He is cradled in Nick's arms and his head skins into his chest. I walk up to them and quickly take Nick's place. I know perfectly well how to calm him down, even if this time he is different from the others, I've always succeeded. I take his head with my hand and begin to make small movements on his hair, he has always relaxed him. I give him little kisses on the forehead and after almost five minutes he begins to calm down.

"Will you tell me what happened?" I say in a low and calm voice so as not to scare him.

"I suck. Whenever I look in the mirror, I see myself fat and ugly, a person that no one would want. They've been making fun of me for years because of this. I can't take it anymore" I feel like my heart is made of porcelain and has been thrown to the ground with all unimaginable force. I just want to scream at him that I love him, and that every single part of him is just perfect.

"There are many things I'm unsure of, but one thing I know for sure is that you are beautiful... inside and out."

He breaks away from the embrace and looks at me shocked. I wipe his tears with my thumb and a slight smile appears on his face. You have no idea what I would give to be able to see this smile every time.

"How about going to your house to watch a movie under the covers, in the warmth, he nods, and I smile knowing what awaits us.

The days spent with him have always been the most beautiful, my favorites.

We say goodbye to the boys, I take him by the hand, and we head to his house which is not far from Nick's house.

Tao's Pov:

The two of them are made for each other, I never said anything because it doesn't seem the case. But now the time has come to make them open their eyes and let them experience the love story they have not yet granted themselves. They are my best friends and I only want the best for them.

"Those two are made for each other"

"Yes, but you are currently not in a position to speak"

"Fuck you Tao!"

"Sorry, sorry, I shouldn't have said that" I admit that maybe I shouldn't have said it, especially in the few seconds when he wasn't thinking about him anymore.

"That's right, but I forgive you... just because it's you though" I love his smile and I must admit that I missed it.