I see you || Loki

2. Corridor Courtship

Regardless of your late night fantasies, you had no desire to see Loki during the course of your day at the palace. This was made infinitely difficult by the fact that he was always around. You had never noticed how often you shared the same space as him until you desperately wanted to be anywhere else. Despite the fact that you knew you hadn't done anything improper (your only misdeeds, if any, were in the privacy of your own mind), you still felt his eyes on you. When you walked the halls, when you ate, when you spoke with your mother on the terrace, whatever you were doing, you felt the tingle of his gaze over your skin and when you turned, there he was. He always had the same expression, a sort of half-amused curiosity, like you were a puzzle he was trying to figure out.

It was, to say the least, a level of attention to which you were unaccustomed. Usually, no one much cared what you did as long as you did it out of their sight. As Thor's future wife, your role—your entire purpose—in Asgard was simply to exist. You were a placeholder, a convenient filler for the princess-shaped vacancy at Thor's side. As long as you were present, pretty, and polite, you could do anything you pleased. Which, for the most part, was to read.

Yet, now, Loki had invaded even that space as well. Whether or not he was physically present, the ghost of your encounter with him followed you through the stacks. You felt his breath on your neck, his hand at your waist. At every turn, you expected to see him lurking, waiting for you as he had those nights ago. The thought itself wasn't unpleasant (and spurred more than a few midnight musings), but it was entirely inappropriate.

You muddled over the problems of it as you stood witness in the King's court. Odin saw to the business of Asgard and all the court watched, yourself included. Thor stood to one side of the throne, Frigga and Loki to the other.

It was, you concluded, entirely possible that Loki himself was not doing anything differently from before. What had changed was your attention to him. Where he had never before occupied so much as a spark in your mind, you could hardly say that now. You had grown conscious of him—his long fingers and sharp jaw, his humor which was matched only by his wit, his eyes that... were watching you.

From across the hall, Loki stared at you, just as you had been staring at him. No... not just the same, for he must have been aware of your attention. You dropped your gaze.

Perhaps not. Perhaps... he may have been looking somewhere else in the crowd. You were just one of a hundred observers. There was no reason to think that he had seen you blatantly gawking at him. And even if he had... perhaps he thought you were just watching the proceedings.

Of course. That was it. You were just—once again—too aware of him. Still, you didn't dare to lift your eyes until court concluded and you were sure he had gone.

#

Feasts were a regular chore. You supposed the merriment and liveliness was a salve to others, a welcome reprieve from their normal drudgery. For you, well... for you, there were far too many people and not nearly enough books.

Beer flowed, steaming platters of food passed, laughter and music mingled in the air. In another room, you knew dancers flitted and whirled with their scarves. You stood near Thor's table, but not really a part of it. You were never really a part of anything that he did. For the most part, that was fine. You did wish he wouldn't regale the crowd with tales of his romantic conquests. Arranged marriage or no, that wasn't something you wanted to hear.

As another story ended with a round of raucous laughter, you slipped away. That was enough for the night. You had done your duty; you'd appeared. You were present, pretty, and polite. Nothing more was required. In the aftermath, others would simply assume that you had been in a different room of the party from them.