I see you || Loki

18. Rekindled Reactions

You were fine.

It was... fine.

.

.

.

It was.

You spent your days at your mother's side, helping with her recovery, keeping her company. You were a model daughter, patient and attentive. So attentive, in fact, that after a few months, your mother insisted that you leave her alone for at least a few hours each day. Otherwise, she said, you would drive her to madness.

You hardly thought of Loki anymore.

In fact, you hardly thought of anything. Your life slid by, melting seamlessly from winter to spring. Your mother healed, though she never fully recovered, and you divided your time between her and the palace greenhouses where you read.

The library... well, it no longer offered you refuge. The shelves whispered to you, the shadows reached for your hand. The rooms reeked of your presence and set you back into the familiar thrum of your life. You didn't want to live that life. You didn't want to be yourself anymore; you wanted to be someone else. And, if you couldn't do that, you would be no one at all.

The greenhouses were small, circular huts. Flowering bushes and trees stood in proud lines, while hanging plants trailed from the ceiling. Their vines and leaves dangled down to brush the top of your head as you passed beneath. The steady drip of water sounded all around you, the sophisticated irrigation system ensuring that every root received what it needed and nothing more.

The buildings were enclosed not by walls and glass, but by force fields the likes of which only Asgard could produce. The wind blew through (but never too cold) and the rain poured down (but never too hard). The barriers were invisible until the sunlight caught the perfect angle and cast the whole room in a golden glow. The elements were allowed to pass in, so long as they were never too strong.

You nestled into a bench in a far corner, partially obscured by a set of towering topiaries. The book you brought with you remained unopened. Instead, you watched the glittering insects of the garden go about their business, lighting from one flower to the next, greeting each with a kiss and then leaving to pollinate another. Iridescent wings flashed in the sun as the creatures went about their business. A freshly planted bed of flowers stood nearby, the decaying scent of the soil mixed with the sweet smell of new life. Ends and beginnings—they always went hand in hand.

"There you are."

You snapped from your daze to find Thor approaching along the garden path. You stood automatically and clasped your book in front of you.

"Your Highness," you said, dropping into the curtsy that was second nature to you.

Thor waved away your decorum and sat heavily into the bench that you had previously occupied. "He told me I could find you here," he said.

Your heart skipped a beat. "Who?"

"Loki."

Why was Loki paying attention to where you spent your days? You hadn't seen him since—

Well, that wasn't exactly true. You'd seen him; you couldn't really avoid him in the palace after all. But you'd never been less than the length of the throne room from him. You maintained a formal distance, the same space that you had kept between you before...

You shook your head, cutting off the thought before it really had a chance to form. You hadn't pined for Loki and you had no intention of doing so now. It hurt too much. Besides, Thor was watching you, a polite look of bewilderment on his face.