TGIF

Chapter 1: Clocking In

I woke up to an article my dad sent me from one of those clickbaity websites—the sort with ads for hot singles in your area—that said people who were happy lived longer.

"How's work?" he had asked.

"It's great! How are you?"

"Gout's flared up again. Tossed and turned all night."

"That sucks," I texted back, and went to get dressed. Today seemed like a fun sock day. Red and green, with reindeer print. A gift from my parents. And like magic, with slacks, a company polo shirt, a black leather belt and matching dress shoes, I was ready to face another workday. Working 8 to 6, what a way to make a living. Just like what Dolly Parton sang to wake me up every morning, but updated for the modern day.

"Morning, Larry!" I waved to my neighbor. Larry waved back with his cane in hand, and hit it against the ceiling light.

"Ope, probably shouldn't do that!" he laughed.

"Look at you being a vandal!"

"What's got you smiling so much?"

"It's another day of sun, Larry. It's a Friday!"

"Nobody's this happy for a Friday, Mike. What's really got you happy?"

"I'm delivering a project proposal to one of our marketing executives today. This could make my career if I play my cards right."

Larry leaned against his cane with both hands. "I wish I had your energy. Don't waste your youthful days—someday you'll be as old and bony as me."

"With age comes wisdom."

"That's right!"

I hurried off downstairs and out of our apartment building for the train station. Spring had come, turning the snow to slush. I'd chosen to live here because the train took me a block from work, and sometimes the train whistle kept me awake as I tried to sleep. But the convenience was worth it—plus, I was doing my part for the environment.

"Hey Dennis! Hey Abby!" I waved to my friends from work, and sat across from them.

"...you don't look like you'd have a tattoo," Dennis said to Abby, whose face didn't share Dennis's scientific curiosity.

"It's a butterfly, on my ankle."

"I don't see it," Dennis said, looking at Abby's Converses.

"Obviously you can't see it, Dennis."

"Left or right?"

Abby ignored his question and waved to me: "Hey Mike, what's got you dressed up today?"

"Big presentation today. Mr. Robinson's going to see my plans for expanding into Hong Kong. Remember when he said at the staff meeting that Asia was the next untapped market? We already have Europe, Australia, South America, and—"

"Then we'll have global domination," Dennis said, gesturing that I was talking too much. "Look, you're gonna kill this presentation. But don't get your hopes up. Mr. Robinson's not an easy man to please."

"His mistress pleases him," Abby said.

"But I've always found him inspirational," he continued.

"Oh really?" I said, leaning in.

"He reminds me of this podcast I listen to—have you listened, Mike, to Troy Bentley's podcast?"

"I don't think so, what's it called?"

"It's called 'The Measure of a Man.' You see, in modern society, things are awful for us. We're going to college less, getting into relationships less, our testosterone levels are dropping—the glass floor we stand on is crumbling to pieces. I'll send you the link, I think you'd get a kick out of it."