Lost in Confusion

Chapter 3

As I woke up from the bright sunlight coming in through the curtains I could feel someone tracing light circles on my back. Forgetting where I was for a brief moment I opened my eyes and was met with Brody's soft brown eyes. "Good morning Gracie, how are you feeling this morning?". I just smiled, "Much better. I had a great night with you. Thank you for letting me stay the night". Brody looked at me with a sweet smile, "Anything for you darling". After laying in each other's embrace for a couple minutes, we both got up and got dressed. Although I had told Brody I was feeling better the events from yesterday sat in my mind. I couldn't understand why Dallas couldn't just be happy for me like all the other boys in the gang. As Brody went downstairs to make us breakfast I sat in his room obsessing over my thoughts. I must've lost track of time because Brody came upstairs thirty minutes later breaking me out of my trance. This happened frequently. My mind just never stopped. It was like a carousel of thoughts that just kept going round and round, stopping occasionally when something new would happen. As Brody led me down the stairs I tried to push the negative thoughts out of my head. When we arrived at the dining room I saw he had made eggs over easy with toast. It was my favorite even though it was simple. I sometimes wished I was simple like that but I was far from it. As we ate breakfast Brody was the first to speak, "So, your birthday is coming up soon. I want to do something special for you". I had almost forgot my 18th birthday was in a week. The thought of him remembering my birthday and wanting to do something special for me made me blush. "That sounds great. I would really love that.". He smiled, "Good, I'm going to take you somewhere nice this year. So just worry about getting dolled up and I'll take care of the rest". It was nice when Brody did these things for me. We couldn't do them all the time since we didn't have the most money but no matter what Brody always did his best to make my birthday special. Once we finished breakfast Brody and I decided it was best for me to go home now. 

As Brody began to drive I immediately felt tense. My mind was racing, the thoughts of yesterday racing through my mind. Brody picked up on it as he always does. "Gracie, don't worry yourself too much about yesterday. If Dally starts any trouble you know one of your brothers will step in. Your brothers and I wouldn't let anything bad happen to you". I just nodded my head not really wanting to talk. Once we pulled up I gave Brody a quick kiss and hopped out of the car. I was confused when Brody began to get out of the car as well. Noticing the puzzled look on my face Brody said, "I'm gonna head in with you. I just want to make sure you're ok. Plus I've been meaning to talk to your brother Darry about something." I was happy he wanted to make sure I was ok but was even more puzzled as to what he could possibly need to talk to Darry about. "What do you need to talk to Darry about?".  He grinned at my curiosity, "Don't worry Gracie you'll find out soon enough". I just let it go figuring it had something to do with my birthday. As we walked up the steps to my house my anxiety only grew. We finally made it to the door and I hesitated. Brody looked at me, "Gracie, don't worry I'm right here". With his reassurance I walked in the door. To my relief Dallas wasn't there. Darry was the first to notice me, "Hey Gracie, how was your night? Are you feeling alright?". I could feel the tension in the room as all the boys stared at me. I could tell they were just as tense as I was about what had happened last night. "I'm alright Darry". Darry didn't push the subject any further. Brody then approached Darry asking to speak with him privately. This made my anxiety shoot through the roof. I was going crazy over what they were discussing. Ponyboy looked at me, "What's that about?". I just looked at him and shrugged. About 10 minutes later Brody and Darry came back from their conversation. Brody and Darry both were smiling which eased me a little. Brody made his way over to me and gave me a kiss, "I've got to head out. I have some errands to run. I'll see you later".  With that Brody was gone. Darry seemed to be in a good mood which made me smile. 

The rest of the day I mainly stayed in my room. I didn't want to see Dallas when he eventually showed up. It was around 5:00 P.M. when I heard heavy footsteps coming up the stairs. They stopped right in front of my door. I could tell just by the footsteps who it was. It was Dallas. Suddenly there was a knock on my door. I opened it and was met with Dallas' sad brown eyes. I just stared at him. "Can I come in?". I nodded my head yes and he made his way into my room and sat on my bed. I hesitantly sat down next to him on the bed. "Listen, yesterday I was out of line. I shouldn't have acted like that towards you." I didn't respond to him I just waited for him to say something else. He looked down not making eye contact with me, "I guess I'm just trying to apologize. You are one of my best friends after all.". I smiled a bit and said, "I forgive you Dal". That seemed to brighten his mood up. I looked at him for a second, "Why did you act that way Dallas? I've never seen you as angry as you were last night.". He looked at me as if he wanted to say something else other than what was about to come out of his mouth. "I can't tell you. You've got good things going for you and I would just ruin it." I looked at him softly, "Dallas you know you can tell me anything. I won't be mad.". He looked at me almost like he was contemplating something, "No I can't. You would hate me if I told you now. It's already too late". I couldn't get a word in before he was out the door and down the stairs. 

Later on at about 7:00 P.M. Brody came to pick me up. He wanted to have a movie night at his apartment which sounded relaxing to me so when he was finally here I was ecstatic. I quickly got in the car and gave him a kiss. Once we got to his apartment we laid on the couch and decided to order a pizza. As we waited for the pizza I shared with him the interaction I had with Dallas.  Brody laughed and just looked at me. "What is so funny Brody?" I said confused as to why he found what Dallas had said amusing. "Gracie you're so blind". I looked at him confused, "What do you mean?". Brody looked at me knowingly, "He loves you Gracie. He clearly has for some time". I looked down, it couldn't be, Dallas wasn't the type. Why after all these years would he have not said anything? I just looked at Brody, "That's crazy. He does not". He just grinned at me, "Whatever you say, just promise you won't shack up with him behind my back". I looked at Brody softly, "I would never do that to you. I love you". He looked at me sweetly "I know. I love you too Gracie". We started to kiss but it was interrupted by the doorbell ringing. 

For the rest of the night we ate pizza, embraced each other and watched movies. At around 11:30 P.M. Brody dropped me off at home. I went inside to see all the boys there. I said hi to all of them besides Dallas who was avoiding me. He wouldn't even look at me. I thought we were on good terms but he must just feel awkward about the whole situation. I quickly announced I was going to bed since I was exhausted. I got into my pajamas and laid in my bed. I couldn't stop thinking about what Brody had said. I laid restlessly in bed all night. What Brody had said made sense. It justified Dallas' behavior but I just couldn't see it. Dallas was bold and daring if he felt that way about me he would've said it a long time ago. If he did feel that way he should've said it a long time ago. Finally at 3:00 I was able to fall asleep but the endless carousel in my brain still went on.