One Piece One-Shots

Nami x GN!reader: Overheard

A list of short conversations between you and Nami

Nami: We've got to find a way to cut down our expenses. What can we live without?
(Y/n): Luffy, probably

(Y/n): It's really muggy outside today....
Nami: (Y/n) I swear to whatever diving being is our there, if I go outside and there's mugs on the deck, I will strangle you.
(Y/n):  *sips wine elegently*

(Y/n): I want to kiss you
Nami, not paying attention: What?
(Y/n): I said if you die, I wont miss you.

Nami: And what do I get out of this?
(Y/n): I will give you a dollar.
Nami: What do you think I am? A chump? I would never do it for a dollar!
(Y/n): How bout two dollars?
Nami: You got yourself a deal

(Y/n): We should be partners
Nami: You mean like, partners in crime?
(Y/n): Yeah... that's precisely what I meant

Nami, looking through her clothes: Has anyone seen my top?
Robin: (Y/n)'s in the kitchen

Nami: (Y/n) is playing hard to get.
Nami: Little do they know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of

Nami: Hey, wanna take a shower with me?
(Y/n): I have a gun in that nightstand beside the bed. If I ever say no to that question, I want you to take it out and shoot me because I've obviously gone crazy

Nami: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized.
(Y/n): *steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely*
Nami: That one. I want that one

Usopp: Nami, what's that on your neck?
Nami: Uh it's just a mosquito bite
(Y/n): *walks into the room* hey guys
Usopp: Hey mosquito
Sanji: ...
Sanji: HOLD UP-

(Y/n): The first time I saw you, you stole my heart.
Nami: But I'm a kleptomaniac, so that doesn't mean anything

(Y/n): That was so hot, Nami
Nami: I literally called the person who just flirted with you a degenterate dog and told them I hope they get dragged through the streets
(Y/n): I'm so in love with you

Nami: I owe you one
(Y/n): That's ok. You can just date me and we'll call it even

(Y/n): Remember that time you dared me to lick a swingset?
Nami: No, I said "(Y/n), don't lick that swingset" and you said "Don't tell me what to do" and licked the swingset

Nami: You know, I've ben told that I'm a primadonna girl
(Y/n): Yeah? Huh... I'm more of a post Madonna guy myself

(Y/n): On a scale of one to ten, what is your favourite colour of the alphabet? 
Nami: What did you smoke this morning??

(Y/n): *banging a pen on the table out of frustration*
Nami: Stop that. How would YOU feel if I banged you on the table?
(Y/n): I—
(Y/n): I don't know the correct answer to that question

Nami: I prevented a murder today
(Y/n): Really? How'd you do that?
Nami: self control.

(Y/n): Where are you going?
Nami: To get MYSELF a gift cause somebody didn't get me one!
(Y/n): I told you I did! Its coming here on Friday!
Luffy, knowing full well that (Y/n) got Nami an engagement ring: *eating popcorn*

Nami: Come on, Luffy. Nobody actually believes that (Y/n) is in love with me
Luffy, to the crew: Raise your hand if you think that (Y/n) is helplessly in love with Nami
*Everyone raises their hand*
Nami: (Y/n), put your hand down.

(Y/n): How much did you spend on this date?
Nami: $1400. But all of it's on credit cards, so it's like $5 a month for the next 2,000 years

(Y/n): Let's watch Sharkboy and Lavagirl!
Nami: Okay
(Y/n): And make out during the scary parts!
Nami: Th-
Nami: The scary parts
Nami: Of Sharkboy and Lavagirl

(Y/n): We have a problem
Nami: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them

Nami: Valentine's day is just a consumerist holiday that holds no real value other than drive people insane buying heart shaped chocolates for their significant others and pos-
(Y/n): I wrote you a poem
Nami, already crying: You did?

(Y/n): It's pretty cold outside.. wanna hold hands? We should stay close
Nami, blushing: Okay
Zoro: It's fucking summer.

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ── ─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"Nami, which is correct, seven and five IS thirteen, or seven and five ARE thirteen?"
"Neither. Because it's twelve."

─── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ───── ⋆⋅☆⋅⋆ ──

"Stop setting things on fire because you're curious about what will happen. What will happen is fire."
"But what if something else happens just this one time??"