Luffy x GN!reader: Overheard

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A list of short conversations between you and Luffy

Luffy: Raccoons have people hands
You: Or do we have raccoon hands?

(Y/n): Luffy, please calm down
Luffy: I asked for two large fries!
Luffy: *dumps fries onto table*
Luffy: But all they did was give me a MILLION FUCKING LITTLE ONES!

Luffy: I think I've made a mistake
You: This is nothing new

(Y/n): Cause you're pretty and you're smart, and you're ignoring me so you're obviously my type
Luffy, who was distracted: I'm sorry- what were you saying?
(Y/n): Perfect

Luffy: Guys, I think I fucked up again
(Y/n): *narrating* he said, with surprise in his voice for some unknown reason

(Y/n): I have officially hit rock bottom.
Luffy: Well, when you start sinking to the center of the earth grab my hand and bring me with you. I'll gladly follow you there

Luffy: A fly flew into my ear!! I think it's going to eat my brain!
You: *gasps*
You: I'm worried about the fly starving to death in there

Marines: What are your names?
Luffy: Don't tell them, (Y/n)!
Marines: Okay, one of you is (Y/n) and you?
You: See what you did Luffy?! Now we're caught and it's your fault!
Marines: *writing this down* Okay, (y/n) and Luffy.... You're under arrest!
You and Luffy: ...

(Y/n): I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning!
Luffy: This is a lie.
Luffy: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie.
Luffy: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS

Luffy: Isn't the moon beautiful tonight?
You: Yeah, it is...
You: *whispers to Sanji* I don't have the heart to tell him it was a tortilla I threw at the window...

You: Luffy, what's your computer password?
Luffy: MickeyMinnieGoofyDonaldPlutoHueyLewyDeweyDublin
You: What kind of password is that??
Luffy: Well, it said I had to use 8 characters and a capital!

Luffy: *pushing on a door that clearly says pull*
You, filming: Just push harder!

Luffy: *getting 8 hours of sleep minimum each night* I am so awake and ready and pumped for the day! The sun is bright and beautiful! I am so happy to be alive!!
(Y/n): *twitches* I've had roughly 30 minutes of sleep the past five days and now I can smell sounds, please kill me

(Y/n): I said I wanted McDonalds!
Luffy: And I bought you McDonalds!
(Y/n): I meant a meal, Luffy, not the company!
Luffy: ...
(Y/n): *sigh* This is so embarrassing...

Luffy: Your legs look great in those pants
You: You should see me without them
Luffy: Why would you take your legs off?

Luffy: How much is the horse tornado?
You: It's a carousel-
Luffy: Either way, I want it

(Y/n): Can you cut me some slack, Luffy? I'm sort of in love
Luffy: I'm sorry, but that's really not my problem
(Y/n): I'm in love with you!
Luffy: *blushes* Oh... That brings me in the loop a little

Luffy: *seductively takes off glasses*
Luffy: Wow...
(Y/n): *blushes* Haha... what?
Luffy: You're really fucking blurry

(Y/n): Damn, the power went out
Luffy: Don't worry, I got this
Luffy: *shakes rapidly and starts to light up*
(Y/n): What-?
Luffy: I swallowed a glow stick!
(Y/n), on the verge of tears: WHY WOULD YOU-

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"There's no 'i' in team but there is one in pizza!"
"So you're not going to share?"
"I'm not going to share."

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"(Y/n), there's something I need to ask you-"
"Finally! You're proposing!"
"How'd you know?"
"Luffy, you've dropped the ring five times during dinner. I even picked it up once."

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"Fruits that do not live up to their names; passionfruit, grapefruit, honeydew and dragonfruit."
"Fruits that do live up to their names?"
"Orange."

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