a/n: idk what this shit is. please forgive me for this crap.
always an angel, never a god. a few words that cut deep into you the first time you heard them. something that is so simple, yet has such a deep meaning. at least to you. you had never been those "it" girls growing up. it's not that you weren't pretty, you were, you just weren't pretty enough. you never had to take courses or extra hours at school because you were already smart. you should be happy of that, but somehow you just weren't. being "naturally" smart just made you feel weird. you were jealous of people that had natural talent instead of whatever you had.
you had never felt insecure, you were confused
why people were so insecure of themselves when they are literally the most perfect people you have ever known in your life, that is until you became a middle schooler. during your middle school and high school years, you just felt like you're never enough. you were young, but everything just felt so suffocating. you were a perfectionist, but you weren't perfect. not at all. not in the least. you were always hiding in your oversized t-shirts and long pants, always feeling insecure towards those thin girls. those perfect, angel like girls. yes you were insecure towards them, but at the same time... you weren't jealous of them. you liked them. you had crushes on them.
you realized that you liked girls instead of boys. that made you feel sick because you knew that the people around you would hate you for that. your parents would hate you for that. even you would hate yourself for that. you always questioned yourself, "why would it be a sin to love someone?" you never knew. even now, you still don't know. it took you a long time to get over it and just love who you want to love. it took her to make you realize that.
the first time that you saw her, you knew you had fallen in love. she was just this beautiful, perfect, kind angel. you met her during first semester of college. she was in the same major as you, so you get to see her often. it wasn't until the second semester that she started talking to you. you still remember the first time she said hi to you...
flashback
"hi.. you're y/n, right? i um- i'm taylor.." she said, looking at you with her electric blue eyes. "o-oh! hi! i- um- yes i'm y/n... i would say it's nice to meet you, but we sort of already met a semester ago so- oh i'm sorry, i'm talking too much, aren't i?" you interrupted yourself before it could get worse. you thought she was gonna agree with you, but she just giggled. "oh y/n, no you were not.. please, you don't have to be nervous around me. i'm not gonna bite you- unless you want me to?" she threw her head back laughing as she saw your red face.
"i'm sorry, i really am, it's just so fun seeing you blushing. did you know that you're really cute when you're blushing?" she asked you. you shook your head. "oh, well, you really are cute. i mean it." she said, smiling. "thank you.. well, i have to ask.. what made you want to interact with me? like, to be honest, i look like a boring person..", "well, dear y/n, my answer to that is on the whiteboard." she pointed her finger to the whiteboard.
"Final semester assignment groups:
1. Y/n & Taylor
2. Nico & Karolina
3. Daisy & Jemma
....."
"oh- i guess i wasn't paying attention.." i said, feeling a bit disappointed that the only reason she talked to me was because we had been grouped together. "darling, don't look so disappointed.. i promise you even if we weren't grouped together, i would've come up to you." she said to you, noticing your change in expression.
"really?", "really. now come on, we have a final assignment to do."
...
you never expected that because of your little interaction, you would end up here, raising your own family with her. you are so grateful to have taylor by your side because she has been there for you even at your darkest times. she was there for you when everybody left you. she saw the truth in you even when you were in your worst lies. you know that if you asked her to run away with you, she would. she has brought out the best in you that you never knew existed.
if someone asked you, "would you go through all the years of feeling never enough and always feeling insecure again?" you would answer, "yes. yes i would. i would go through it over and over again just so i could meet her. fall in love with her. i'd do it a thousand times over just for her. because she? she's the one who made me realize that maybe, just maybe, everything would be okay."
a/n: this? this is crap. THIS IS PURE CRAP.
