request by CruelSwiftie
...
it started when you were 11, got worse when you were 13. it all started with your family members, friends, or even people that you weren't even close with- telling you to just maybe, stop eating for a bit. what they don't know is that, that one little comment, would change the course of your entire life.
you started to change. it wasn't obvious, no. but even if it was, people wouldn't even notice, 'cause who would notice a little 11 year old you? you've stopped eating your favorite meals because it was too much calories for you to eat in one portion. you started to hate eating, even though it was just your favorite thing to do a year ago.
by the time you're 13, it was so difficult for you to eat two slices of pizza, because you were too afraid of the weight you'd gain if you ate them. your eating disorder has become so severe that you had to be admitted to a hospital for days, if not weeks. you were too weak to even do anything and yet, you still refuse to eat.
you remember the late nights when your parents would make you ramen and try to feed you, because it was your favorite thing to do. but they never succeded. all you ended up saying was "sorry, i'm not hungry." it was a lie, of course. you were starving yourself to death, literally, just so you can look like the other girls. the ones with hourglass bodies and flat stomachs.
it took you a long time to recover from it, but it doesn't take a long time for it to come back. it never goes away, the eating disorder. yes, it gets better. yes, you eventually eat like a normal person again. but it's always there, deep inside of you, just waiting for the right moment to strike again. seems like the right moment would be today.
...
today was a normal day, you woke up next to your beloved wife, who was still sleeping. you sat up on the bed, so you can carress her hair. you started to smile, that's the effect she has on you. even when she's asleep, she makes you happy. she's like the human version of kittens and puppies that gives people some sort of serotonin boost.
you took your phone off of the bedside table and unlocked it. you went to the camera app, to take a few pictures of your beautiful wife. you continue to smile as you went to instagram, posting the pictures you took. it didn't take long for it to blow up, likes and comments notifications all over your instagram.
as you scroll through the comments, you saw this one specific comment saying: "consider stop eating a bit, babe. i could still see your thighs even when it's not rlly in the pic."
you thought it was just one comment, so you shook it off of your mind. but as you scroll down more, you see more and more comments about your body. and you can't help but agree with them. you had been eating a lot lately, but you haven't really excercised. the more you scroll, the more teary your eyes become. you try to not let the tears fall down, but it was no use. little sobs were starting to come out of you. you tried to stop them because you didn't want taylor to wake up. didn't work though.
"love, are you crying?" taylor said with a sleepy voice. "n-no, i'm fine, just go back to sleep, tay." you lied through your teeth. "no. tell me.. what happened?" taylor has sat up on her side of the bed, her body facing yours. you were doing fine with your little sobs, but when she asked you that, you crumbled down.
your body started to shake, loud sobs coming out of you. "hey, hey, hey, it's okay. it's okay. just breathe, love. i'm here." taylor went to hug you, but you couldn't hug her back. your tears were starting to wet taylor's shirt, she didn't mind though. why would she? you're the most important thing in her life, she would do anything for you.
when your crying has stopped, she pulled out of the hug and carresses your cheek. "are you better now?" she asked. you shook your head. "okay.. what- what can i do to make it better? do you want cookies? i can bake them right now. do you want your mom's cooking? i have some recipes that she gave me, i could try making it.." taylor said, her voice soft and caring. "no.. i don't- i don't feel like eating today, taylor." you said between breaths.
"oh.. is that what happened?" she said with a concerned look on her face. you nodded slowly. "i can't help it.. i posted a few pictures of you on insta because you were so angelic while sleeping.. and when i opened the comment section, i saw a lot of comments about my body, especially my thighs. they said they could still see 'em even when it's not really in the picture." you opened up to her, avoiding her eyes that's staring right into yours.
"sweetie, don't fucking listen to them. okay? they're no one. they don't matter. what matters is your health. i don't want you getting sick and too weak to do anything again. and anyway, who cares if you have big thighs? i love them. they're mommy thighs. i could spend hours between them, you know that. i love every inch of you. and that's the only thing you should care about. how much i love you, not strangers' comments about your body." taylor said, smiling when you nodded.
"so.. mommy thighs, huh?" you teased taylor, laughing as her cheeks went red. "i mean- have you seen yourself?? you're hot, girl. you're the most perfect thing that i've ever seen in my life. even if you don't see that." now, it's your turn to blush at her compliment.
"thank you, tay. you always know how to make my day better.", "it's my job to do that, angel. now, do you want eat or do i have to call your mom to talk you to eating?" taylor said with a serious look on her face. "um- no need for violence, i can eat on my own, thank you very much." you said, joking along with her.
the rest of the day was spent with cuddling, watching your favorite tv show, baking cookies, and helping taylor write her songs.
you are eternally grateful to have taylor in your life.
...
a/n: 1108 words of idk what this is. i'm sorry if i couldn't fulfill your request fully :(
