Don't leave me behind.

15. promise me...

"Today I will celebrate with my friends for the promotion I got. You were right when you advised me to leave my old job. I am now more productive since I left that job, and yeah....you were right about our neighbours.... Tony and Linda divorced as you said.... Their marriage didn't even last a year, It's a good thing they don't have children."
Freen said that calmly with a faint smile then she placed the rose on the grave and then sat on the edge of it and kissed it.

"Nothing is the same after you left...  There is no taste or meaning of my life after you....I try to convince myself every day to continue with my life and not to give up and go after you.... haha, I know if you were here you would raise your eyebrows and pinch me for saying that."
Freen said that in a choked voice while her tears began to fall

"I miss you, every single moment I miss you becky ... your laugh, the warmth of your embrace, the safety I feel when I'm with you, the love I see in your eyes whenever we're together, I even miss your dirty language, haha....I miss every detail of you and I don't know how I'm still breathing while you are here ...underground.... but every time I think about catching up with you, I watch the video you left for me and what you said to me, you shouldn't do that....you were wrong I can't move on, i can't be normal after you, I still remember that day like yesterday and .... and it's like nightmare but you can't wake up "
Freen said that and then started crying bitterly.

{FLASHBACK}

"We did all we could to revive her. we are so sorry for your loss”
replayed over and over in freen head while she was looking at shock in the doctor eyes who was barely keep herself together in the end she was becky doctor for long time, enough time to love and care about becky.

The panic attack and the looks on their faces replaying like a movie... over and over again.
freen was standing there, waiting for someone to say it was a joke. Becky is always joking and pulling pranks, What if this was one of them?
  This is what freen had in mind, and what she wanted but unfortunately that was impossible.... she didn’t want it to be real but ... becky was gone.

freen was not the only one who was in a miserable condition that day, but everyone who knew Becky, even the nurses, were standing in that corridor crying for her as if she was one of their close friends, even song who came later couldn't stop her tears.

Red eyes, shocked faces, screaming and crying sounds ... there was nothing that day but pain and sadness.

freen walked into the funeral home trying to keep it together... she knew that’s what becky would have wanted.

freen was a mess, she was manic, her hair was a mess, she was skin and bones but worst of all she was broken inside.

Soon after freen entered the building she was greeted by an old man who told her that he was sorry for her loss, honestly freen barely acknowledged the man’s existence as everything felt like she was underwater, she was literally drowning on earth, an earth without Becky Armstrong, her girlfriend... her home.

The man took freen in a room full of different caskets; the entire thing was so ....surreal.

freen never thought this was how everything would turn out...becky was a fighter, she had fought her entire life alone with miserable childhood and hard life to get what she was has .. what she had,
then cancer comes along and takes her....it wasn’t fair....at all.

freen walked through the room, with her heart in her stomach, she just wanted to crawl in a casket and be buried with becky.....she walked over to a beautiful mahogany casket and cried on top of it.