Of Lies & Love | weekly updates

9 | MIRA

I wipe away the tears, refusing to let the hurt take hold. I thought Rihan was different, but he also wants to get rid of me. Why drag me to Mysore if his plan was to put me in that prison? I have been there before, time and again. I know it won't help. It never has.

Nothing is as good as the high I feel. It's like floating on clouds, a beautiful escape into the unknown. The rehabilitation centers, however, are far from it. They didn't give me enough food, hit me when I resisted their authority and subjected me to various other forms of mistreatment. It made me flee every single time. How does he expect me to go back?

“Open the door, Mira!”

“Leave me alone!” I climb into bed and close my eyes. If I fall asleep, I won't have to hear his voice.

“Let's talk.”

“No.”

“Come on—”

“I won't go. If you have a problem with me, you can send me home."

"Okay, you don't have to go,” he says in a softer tone. “Can you come out?"

I don't know if I can trust him, but I know he won't leave me alone until we talk.

"Promise me. You said you don't break your promises."

"I promise."

Taking a deep breath, I make my way to the door and unlock it. He gazes at my face for a moment longer than what I deem comfortable. I step aside and hastily wipe my eyes and cheeks with the back of my hands.

He walks in, his eyes dancing around the dimly lit space. I don't want him to pull the curtains but he does exactly that, making me clench my eyes shut as the morning light floods in, momentarily blinding me.

“Mira.”

I open my eyes, meeting his intense gaze. I don't know what to say, and he too seems at a loss for words.

He sinks into the bed and pats the space next to him. I hesitate, not in the mood to listen to his empty words. I know why he’s here. He's going to convince me just the way my parents always did. But nothing can change my mind.

“Come here,” he says, prodding me with his eyes. They are the brightest shade of brown I have ever witnessed, housing thousands of stars in them. When he smiles, those stars twinkle, lighting up his whole face in a way that's impossible to resist.

I swallow hard and sit down, leaving some distance between us.

“You should save your energy.” I look down at my nails. “I won't go, no matter what.”

“I have not made any appointments. If you don't want to go, we won't go.”

My head snaps up as I try to read his expression. “You won't force me?”

He shakes his head. I let out a relieved sigh.

Silence envelopes us for a brief moment before he suddenly asks a question that makes my head reel. "What do you want, Mira?"

“Why?” The question catches me off guard. No one has asked me what I want in a long time.

"Tell me something."

"I want—" I pause, thinking hard but nothing crosses my mind. I had several dreams but they all seem so far away from my grasp right now. I look down at the marks dotting my arms and fail to see beyond it. "I don't know."

"What do you want to do today?"

Again, I shake my head, my cheeks flushing. "Nothing." 

"What about before?"