Mira lives like a princess, who has everything and more- until her life takes a turn for the worse when she succumbs to the allure of parties and drugs. Her family, fed up with her train wreck of a life, takes a drastic decision to marry her off. Sh...
I grab the glass and swirl the golden liquid, attempting to mask the tremble in my fingers as I wait for my friend. I wonder if I’ll be caught if someone informs the police. What will Rihan say when he sees me like this? His emotions are always written plain as day on his face. But at this moment, nothing matters as much as this desperate need consuming me. I need it more than air to breathe.
When Rihan drove me to the facility, I’d made up my mind to listen to him. His genuine concern about my health fueled my determination to not let him down. But after entering the main gate, as I stared at the towering building, a wave of anxiety crashed over me, twisting my stomach into knots. I stood there for several minutes and tried to recall Rihan’s voice, but it seemed like a distant echo against the thunderous pounding of my heartbeat.
My feet remained glued to the ground every time I tried to take a step forward. Tired of fighting the invisible force, I surrendered to the inevitable and ran away. I wanted to talk to Rihan, but he had already left. I stared at the road ahead, feeling adrift like a compass without its needle. Amidst the blur of vehicles, no one paid attention to me as I crossed the road. Usually, I liked the anonymity of it. But on that particular day, I felt lonely. Lonely enough to wonder what it would be like to live a normal life as a normal person with normal friends.
And that’s all I could do.
Wonder. Wish.
I hailed a passing cab and asked the driver to take me to the nearest bar. Only the familiar warmth of liquid courage could get me through the treatment. It was supposed to be one drink before I returned to the facility. But I met someone. I don't know how she could tell with just a glance. Perhaps there's junkie written on my forehead. She sat beside me in sheer silence before slipping a small packet into my hand.
I swear I didn’t want to take it. Disappointing Rihan wasn't my intention. But addiction dominates my life. How could I refuse it?
I thought I'd give into it one last time before going clean, but the last time turned into many times, and I’ve been coming here every day for the past two weeks.
My phone pings with a message from her. I frown, my excitement fading when I realize she won't be coming today.
I settle the bill and step out of the bar, my insides shaking despite the thick layers of clothing. The craving gnaws at me, a relentless hunger demanding to be sated.
Finding a drug store, I make my way to the counter, blood thumping in my ears, drowning out all other noises. I gesture towards my mouth and feign a toothache, asking the shopkeeper for painkillers.
When he hands me the medication, I can’t help but sigh in relief.
I clutch the strip between my fingers and walk towards the main road. My phone rings again, and I nearly drop it when Rihan's name flashes on the screen.
Something is not right with him. He has never called me before.
Scanning my surroundings, I spot a narrow street, away from the hustle of passing cars. I walk to the far corner and return his call. After the 5th ring, I am almost certain he won't answer.
“Hello?”
Fuck me. “Hey,” I greet him in a whisper, hoping my voice won't give me away.
“How is it going there?”
I swallow and close my eyes. “All good.”
There is a heavy silence from his end before he finally speaks. “I’ll pick you up later.”
“You don't have to come. I’ll take a cab.”
“Okay.”
I lean against the wall and stare down at my phone, puzzled. It was the weirdest conversation. I hate the feeling of guilt that worms through me, but it’s also a reminder of what’s wrong with me. This has to be the last time; I make a silent vow to myself as I book a cab to Rihan's house.
Upon reaching the front door, I double-check to ensure it's securely locked and walk into the kitchen. I feel like a thief with how terribly my hands shake as I crush the pill into fine powder, then with the credit card my parents left me, I form lines of the powder and use a rolled note to breathe life back into myself.
The guilt, fear, anxiety — everything just vanishes, leaving me in a bubble of peace. A peace so potent that I feel like I'm floating on fluffy clouds, blissfully disconnected from the world around me. It’s better than anything I have ever known in twenty-three years of my life. But as quickly as it comes, it also fades away, lasting only about thirty minutes before I begin to fall. I hate the looming sense of emptiness. Do it again…the devil in my head whispers its temptation, encouraging me to keep chasing the euphoria.
I shake my head and decide to take a bath before Rihan's arrival.
I don’t want him to find out. He’s been nothing but kind to me. I can’t bear to see him any other way.
A sharp knock stops me dead in my tracks.
“Mira?” Rihan's voice filters through the front door, sending me into a flurry of panic.
Shit.
With adrenaline coursing through my veins, I scramble to tidy up the mess on the kitchen counter and dart into my room, hiding the strip inside the pillow cover.
“Are you there?”
I take a deep breath and open the door.
“Hi,” I say, mustering a smile despite the discomfort swirling through me.
“Why are you home so early?”
“Oh, um, the session ended sooner today.”
“What did you do?”
I rack my brain for something. “Therapy? Yeah, we did group therapy.”
“This is how it’s going to be?” he asks in a steely voice as he enters the house.
Does he know? No, he can't. I made sure of it.
“What do you mean?”
He takes a step towards me, his eyes trained on my lips. I take a step back, but he grabs my arm and pulls me closer. My breath catches in my throat as he glides his fingers over my lips. A shiver runs down my spine, the heat of his touch foreign yet inviting. The steady thud of my heartbeat intensifies to a deafening level, and I find myself leaning forward involuntarily, drawn to him for an inexplicable reason.
He lets go. “What is this?”
I blink, my gaze drifting to his fingers, which are stained with traces of the white powder.
Hell, no.
I quickly wipe my mouth, unable to look at him.
“You can lie to me, but you cannot lie to yourself," he continues, his voice harsher than the storm raging within me. "You feel okay, but you know you are edging towards death.”
I know the consequences of my actions, but hearing him say it aloud cuts me, hurting me in more ways than the drug in my system.
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
