my throat is on fire, my veins are burning and i think my blood may have turned to acid when i downed that glass (and the next and the next and the next), and of course my mind has reverted towards you, and all you're misplaced glory.
you kissed me with airport love, the kind where two people are reunited and everything for a single moment is perfect and worth it and that's how our love was every time you kissed me. sometimes you'd bite my bottom lip with your shiny white teeth and the taste of peppermints would embed themselves on to my tongue. you always told me i was a mistake he never wanted to live down. why was i a mistake?
you gave me graveyard misery and coffee shop serenity and blind eyed oblivion with the mere touch of your hands and the mere sound of your coarse voice, to you i was a little plaything, not a lover. i always maximize the potential of two opposite beings, always seeing when there's nothing to be seen, it was just schizophrenic love.
because when the sun rose, you broke my heart. i hate that term: you broke my heart. it doesn't quite show the rage I feel;
YOU BROKE MY GODDAMN HEART, YOU SOULLESS BASTARD. YOU KISSED ME HARD AND TOUCHED ME SOFTLY, WITH EVERY FLEETING GLANCE YOU PROVED TO ME THAT YOU LOVED ME AND YET WHEN THE TIME CAME FOR YOU TO STAY STAY STAY, YOU WERE NOTHING EXCEPT RUMPLED BEDSHEETS AND A SINGLE SWEATER LEFT STRUNG ON MY DRESSER.
YOU SAID YOU FOUND YOURSELF ANOTHER GIRL WHO HAD FLOWERS STRUNG IN HER HAIR AND HER EYES WERE THE LIGHTEST SHADE OF GREEN, THEY REMINDED YOU OF SUMMERTIME AND NOT OF ME. YOU KISSED HER HARD HARD HARD AND TOUCHED HER ROUGH ROUGH ROUGH IS THAT YOUR KIND OF LOVE? IS IT?
DO YOU FEEL GOOD KNOWING THAT YOU RENDERED ME INCAPABLE OF LOVING?
LIVE THAT DOWN YOU SOULLESS BASTARD.
- SCHIZOPHRENIC LOVE
[ IN WHICH HEARTBREAK TURNS TO FURY].
I am so full of rage that I am sure I could write a thousand scream poems and still feel unsatisfied. in fact, I could punch a hole in my wall and still want to stab someone. jfc who gave me alcohol.??
