it was a small notion. he smiled when she did. nothing major, nothing to raise eyebrows or create an uproar of society around them. small, as most things were, to him at least. no big deal.
you see, he had loved a thousand girls with all his heart, giving them every fraction of his being.. hadn't he?
he'd broken hearts, had his broken, the world was fair to him. everything was slow, calm, the waves were lapping the shore and it was peaceful, just the way he preferred it.
you see, if you counted his mistakes it would take all the hands that had ever grazed his skin. (too many of those to count as well). he came to school with red eyes, no one knows if he was crying or dying because of the replacement of oxygen in his lungs with a foreign- but not frightening toxin. he'd chase the clouds, high and low, if they gave him the happiness, the answer to his seemingly mathematical problem that he configured as life and relationships.
you see, he smiled when she smiled. as i said, small notion.
but, very often do we learn that the biggest things begin small. take a hurricane for instance; if you think about it, a hurricane begins with to separate forces of wind (hot and cold) blending together. but, it begins with a breeze. the breeze develops into something more along the way, something so tropical and calm becomes a raging hurricane that steals away homes and lives like the merciless murderer we know them to be.
he never believed in the details, the small things, the little pieces. it was all about the big picture. he didn't care about the combining of chemicals, it was the reaction. the explosion that made his heart skip beats, the little things didn't speed his heart.
except for her. she was a little thing, messy brown hair tumbling down her face, eyes so green they made him think of his neighbors yard during the spring. she was like spring in ways, but in others she resembled winter. he liked the seasons, the were part of the bigger picture, weren't they? like i said, he smiled when she smiled.
from across the room, she never held eye contact. this made him scrunch his eyebrows in confusion. she never smiled back, once again, he'd bite his cheek in confusion. she laughed and it was off beat and terrible, but it made him smile so hard his cheeks hurt. she spoke so carefully, as if she'd choke on the words. she was precautions. he was reckless.
he didn't like making the first move. he was used to girls falling to his feet, like he was adonis and they were begging for a piece (he willingly gave, love he called it, then realized it wasn't all). so he'd leave. maybe that was his problem. maybe he led himself on too quickly, developed false feelings too quickly. he began questioning if these feelings were really even there- if they were real.
she sat in the corner of the classroom. she was loud sometimes, laughter and a joking tone would tear through the room and make every glance over, only to laugh and look away once again. he needed work on the looking away. they were both still young, so innocent in ways that weren't quite innocent.
