Big Book Of Sjips One Shots

Annoying You (S)

TW: Crack treated seriously

A/N: Takes place in a UA where Lalna was successfully abducted by the Cheat Police.

Disneyland. What Disneyland? Was there even a Disneyland around here? But without any correspondence, any letters, postcards, even, Nano knew that something was up. Her dreams hissed at her, telling her to wake up.

The phone rang, and she could hear the grin in his voice. "Hey, Nano!"

NanoSounds had gotten to a good point with Hat Films, but... the next on the list, of course, was still fake-friendly as ever.

"Sjin...?" she answered cautiously.

"Hey!!" He may as well have been waving a hand in greeting.

"What are you calling me for at this time of night?!"

His voice sounded hurt. "Oh, well... I thought you might want to talk!"

"About what?" Ridiculous.

"I dunno." -Was he leaning back?- "What do you want to talk about?"

NanoSounds sighed. "I don't want to talk about anything?"

"Oh. I thought you might want to talk about Lalna, or-"

"What do you mean, Lalna?!"

He gave a light chuckle. "Oh, so now, you want to talk."

NanoSounds had to wait a second before she trusted herself to speak. "What have you done?"

"Oh, nothing! I've done nothing, you see. You miss him?"

"Sjin..."

"Miss your flux buddy?" he pouted.

"Sjin, I'll give you three seconds."

"If you only give me three seconds, you'll never find him again! You won't be able to be his knight in shining armor," he teased, "again."

"You realized he was gone?"

"Mm. Magical Prisons aren't always the best. 'Disneyland', however... he's enjoying his stay, at least!"

"You... you have him?" Nano shut her eyes, locking her rage inside. The vivid swarms of purple and white became even more tense than usual.

"We have your precious little dinos- I, uh - scientist, yeah. He's safe, he's happy, don't worry."

She let out a breath. "Why are you telling me this?"

Sjin piped up, "Well! I thought you might want to know, and all, being a little duo and all. We always rescue the ones we love, hmm?" His voice turned away from the phone slightly, did a door open in the background?

"You're sick."

"I thought I was coming down with a cold or somethin' a week ago, but no. Gladly, I'm not."

"Sjin-" she was cut off by a muffled noise, like the phone had been dropped. A laugh, a snicker. What the hell was he doing? A long pause

"Shhh, shh! I have to do the call, oh my god," Sjin's voice came through as a playful whisper.

"Okay then, I'll do it," another voice chuckled.

"AYYYY, Nano! What's up?!" She cringed, backing away from the phone slightly. Sips. Were they working together? Again. Again. She had to deal with their idiocy, again?!

"Hey," she managed, feeling sick.

"How far Sjin'd get?"

"You two have Lalna?" This conversation was going to be fun.

"Yeah," Sips reclined. "So, how's the flux capacitating going?"

"I... what?"

"Flux... fuck, what was it?"

"Flux buddies."

"Ah yeah, fuck buds, that was it. How've you been doing? I've been doing-" Sips broke out into laughter, a pushing noise was heard. "-awesome."

"I've been doing okay, I- No, I- Is Sjin still in the room?"

"Yeah, I'm giving the phone to him, hold on-"

"Hey, Nano," Sjin held back a laugh, "Back to business, right-" the phone was dropped again, probably on the floor this time. Muffled giggles and laughing and, "shhh, no!" played through. Of all the people that could have kidnapped Lalna...again... it had to be Sjin. This time with Sips, gods help her. They were even more annoying as a pair.

She waited a good minute for them to finish doing whatever they were doing... typical Sips and Sjin stuff, she supposed...? Disgusting bastards. She had to stay on the line, she supposed, if she was going to rescue Lalna, but... this seemed like something that she shouldn't be hearing.

She shook her head in exasperation, putting her head in her hands. Why? Why her?

The phone picked up. "MmH! So, yeah. We have Lalna. Uh, if you want him bac- SIP- YOU-" were they having a tickle fight or some shit?! What was going on?!

"I'm gonna get you for that you- you and your, "I have ways to get you off that phone," Jesus, Sips... anyways," Sjin's attention turned to Nano, "Mm, yeah- you can come to us."

"Where even are you two?"

"SipsCo, of course!" he chirped.

"The old compound?" Now she was really confused. "I thought that was place trashed!"

Sjin became serious for a moment. "Hey, Honeydew In- I mean, Honeydinc-" hysteric laughter from Sips, "and Lalna's old castle were trashed, okay?! Unlike you guys, we're still here."

"Big Money, Big Men," Sips called out in a fit of laughter in the distance.

"I thought it was Big Women?" Nano asked.

"Shh, shh. Anyways," Sjin prompted, "Lalna's castle is gone-"

"My patience is gone!" she shouted.

Sjin snickered, "Oohhohoho, her patience is gone, Sips! I'm so scared-"

Sips snatched the phone, "Ooooh, the big scary purple lady's gonna mess us up, Sjin," he badgered.

"What?!"

"What are you, going to spill some Ribena on us? You've got grape jelly jars with our names on them?"

Sjin took the phone back, "Sips! Nano- No, I'm not going to ask her that," he laughed. "I'm not! You wanna do it? No, I- okay, fine. Nano, Sips wants to ask you, no? Okay, okay, we want to ask you... are you sticky?"

They erupted in laughter, and the phone tumbled down onto the floor once again. Someone picked it up shortly after.

Disgusted and confused, Nano took her head away from the phone's speaker. Squelch. Flux from her cheek had gotten on the phone, and Sips and Sjin's guffawing on the other end could be heard around the world.

She sighed, trying to shout over their disaster of a phone call. "SO YOU HAVE LALNA, AND YOU'RE AT SIPSCO, YEAH?!"

Sjin sniffed, taking a deep breath. "Yeah, yeah."

"Okay, then. Bye."

"Bye." The phone was tossed away again, but it didn't hang up. Dangerously curious, Nano listened in, in case they said something about Lalna's location.

"Heheh, mmmh. It's much more fun doing this sort of shit with you, Sips," Sjin hummed. "But really, you are evil for tickling me so much, ohh my god..."

"I'll tickle you in other places, eh?"

"Ohohoho, yeah? Try it," Sjin teased.

NanoSounds had the good sense to hang up the phone there.

Credit to Majenkins13 on Ao3