Big Book Of Sjips One Shots

The Cereal Offender (S)

TW: University!AU, not really shippy

"No, no, no, no!" Panicked shrieks filled the corridor, and Sips almost jumped out of his skin as he made his way down the wide hallway. The sound came from around the corner, a slight tangent on his route from class, and he found his feet moving quickly to carry him towards the source of the noise. As he grew closer, he was sure he heard an odd sort of rattling, like hailstones hitting a closed window, and furrowed his brows as he popped his head around the corner.

"Hey, are you all right? I heard a yell and I..." He trailed off, a frown slipping onto his face as he took in the scene before him. In the middle of the corridor sat a man of average height, with a beanie half-covering his dark-brown hair and a pair of thick glasses over his wide, panic-filled blue eyes. In his hands was a cereal bowl, overflowing with what appeared to be Froot Loops, and all over the man's lap, all over the floor - all over the corridor, in fact, in a spreading sea of pastel colours - were Froot Loops. The man frantically whipped his head back and forth between the overflowing machine and Sips, stood at the corner, dumbfounded at the sight he had been presented with. "What the hell?"

"Oh shit- You're not an advisor, are you?"

"What? No, no, I'm a student, I... What the hell?" He repeated, confused. The man looked almost relieved, but went back to frantic worry and whipping his head back and forth between the cereal and Sips as he spoke.

"I don't know, I just pressed a button an-and they just started pouring out and I don't know what to do!" He waved the bowl in his hands, colourful hoops spilling out the sides, and Sips realised that the man was genuinely panicking. There was a scarlet flush across his cheeks, and he was stuttering as he spoke in frantic gasps. "It won't stop and all I can do is hold this - this bowl and it's not catching shit and I- What do I do?!"

"The hell should I know, man? I just got here." Sips tilted his head to the side, confused. Just how did a grown-ass man get himself in such a damn predicament? He would've loved to have seen how this had started, because really, it went without saying that he was just so confused. "Why'd you flood the corridor with cereal then, buddy?"

"I didn't do it on purpose!" The man exclaimed. "I wanted some cereal and so I...I pressed the button, and it just won't stop. I thought I made that perfectly clear! I just wanted some cereal..." He stared, wide-eyed, up at Sips, and the dark-haired man realised just why he was staring at him. He expected some help, didn't he? He wanted Sips to help him clear up the sea of Froot Loops that was slowly forming across the corridor - or to at least stop the machine. So, with an almost laboured sigh, he took a few steps closer to the machine, squinting as he studied the buttons on the cereal dispenser. These machines were dotted all around campus, near the dorm rooms, and they had been known to jam and refuse to spit out cereal every so often, but he had never seen a machine quite so generous as this one before.

"Man, I don't know. I'd be pretty happy with all these Froot Loops - bit of bang for your buck, right?" He smirked, and the man stared up at him incredulously.

"Just figure out how to turn it off already! I've got enough to worry about, I have my... My final paper, my dissertation, the laptop wiped itself of all its data, and- And I thought I'd get something to eat because I've literally spent all term working on it and haven't really eaten much in a while, like a few days- And then I-I realised that there was no food because I forgot to go shopping when I got my money and now... And now this and I- I'm tired and I can't do anything right now and I- I..." He shook his head, as though confused at himself, and then looked back down at the overflowing bowl of Froot Loops in his hands. "What am I meant to do with all this cereal?" He sounded so bewildered, and Sips could have laughed if the sight weren't so pathetic. Man, this was rich, honestly. What student was sad about having so much free food? Then again, he had just said he'd lost his final paper, so... Sips sucked in a breath through gritted teeth, shaking his head.