What Do You Want From Me?

Why?

Part of me wanted him to leave, but the other wanted to see what he had to say. "You've got some news to tell me, I heard." Ethan says. "Ya think so? Well who told you that?" I say. "If you tell me this, I'll tell you everything you want to know, does that sound good to you, Roxina?" Ethan says. The way he said my name and looked at me gave me butterflies. I agreed. "I am pregnant, about 4 months and it's your baby, I'm pretty sure." As I told him, his demeanor stayed the same. He didn't look shocked, he didn't move a single muscle. He just sat there and stared at me like that's the news he already expected. "Well what's your next move, are you keeping it?" He asks. "Yes, and it is your choice if you want to be in its life or not. Enough of that, you said you would answer my questions, how do you know Mateo?" I ask. "Mateo and I used to be best friends, and I knew who you were, kinda. I didn't know your name or what you looked like, I just knew you were Mateo's girlfriend. When he started using drugs and became aggressive, I started to become distant with him. Of course, he didn't take it lightly so one night, he smashed my bedroom window, and stabbed me in the side with a knife. Luckily I acted fast, but after that, I didn't see him for a long time. One day he showed up in my driveway out of nowhere asking for help. I can't remember what it was but it was definitely fake. I let him into my house and he told me he needed to get you back, I didn't want any part in it at all. He couldn't take no for an answer, so he stormed out and came back seconds later with a gun, and shot my dad in the stomach. Mateo told me my mother would be next so I accepted. So yes, when I first met you was on purpose, but all of our hangouts were genuine. I fell in love with you.
I was very hesitant on the night I brought you to him. I do regret it, but unfortunately, I can't take it back." I don't know how to feel after hearing what he said. I want to say he's lying but his words felt so sincere. He had such a genuine look on his face, like he meant every single thing he said. He knew not to apologize, because an apology would mean nothing for the pain he caused me. "How is Mateo dead?" I asked. But I'm pretty sure I already know the answer. "I killed him." The room went silent. So quiet, you could hear a pen drop. "At first, I didn't know Mateo's plans with you but as the days went on, I caught on to what he was doing. So while he was in the room with you, I poured rat poison in his drink, I wasn't for sure he was going to drink it but I didn't want him doing more damage to you than he already had done." My blood ran cold. I started to get the chills. Ethan killed Mateo. My mind couldn't register that statement. "Sorry to interrupt, but your test results came back, you're the father, Ethan." Dr. Basner says. Ethan smiled at me. I gave him a half smile back. "Ethan, I'll take you back to your room so both you and Roxi can rest." "Thank you, Dr. Basner." Mom said. "Oh Roxi, will you ever tell me what happened between you two." Mom says. I would love to tell mom everything but she can't take it. She's broken enough because of everything I've put her through, I don't want to hurt her even more. I smile at mom and give her a hug. I turn over on my bed and drift off into sleep.
I wake up from a knocking sound on my door. It's Ethan. "It's like 5 in the morning, why aren't you sleeping." I ask. "Come on a walk with me, Roxi." "We all know what happened last time you took me somewhere." He frowned at me. He grabbed my hand and led me out the room. We walked outside and into the hospital garden. "Are you sure you should even be up? Not too long ago, you were bleeding out." Ethan chuckled. "You worried about me?" "Please, far from it actually." I said while laughing. "I brought you out here because the stars are gorgeous, and they reminded me of you." He says. "Don't try to sweet talk me, I still haven't forgiven you." I reply. "I'm not looking for forgiveness, me saying sorry won't change what I did, nor will it take back your pain." Ethan's eyes start to tear up and he squeezes my hand tighter and starts to rest his head on my shoulder. Deep down, I forgive him but I can't bring myself to say that right now. He sat up to look at me while tears are streaming down his cheeks. He cups my face gently, and goes in for a kiss. I don't fight it, nor did I want too. It felt nice, and normal. Soon after, we walked back inside and we parted our ways. I didn't fall back asleep after that. Around 8:30, Dr. Basner was giving my mom and I some documents to sign and medications to take. "How's it feel being out of the hospital?" Mom asks. "I don't know, I just kinda miss my bed." "Well, Remi missed you, ya know? She cried when she found out you were in the hospital again." Mom says. I laughed. Maybe my sister really does have a heart. As soon as we get home, I jump into my bed. "Looking for attention again, do you not get enough from Ethan?"  Remi says. "Cut the act, Rem. You love me, mom told me you cried while I was in the hospital." I said while laughing. Remi scoffed and ran downstairs to most likely complain to mom.