Madlands

16. Painfully Long & Dreadfully Short

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The walk back to the lodge felt painfully long and dreadfully short.

Grey was simultaneously trying to process what had just happened, taking stock of how much Kayliff's careless words had revealed about what she had revealed to Kayliff, and thinking ahead to what Mando was likely to ask when they got back to the lodge. In other words, her head was spinning.

She did, overall, find that she was relieved when he shut the door to their room. Even if the next several minutes were going to be tense, being alone with Mando was where she'd grown most comfortable. She couldn't decide if that was a good thing or not. But, this was not the time for big-picture self-reflection; their showdown was about to start.

Grey was readying herself, standing dead centre of the small open space between the bed and entryway. Mando came in to face her, but leaned back against the wall as he did.

Are you okay?

Not the verbal spar that she'd expected. It was disarming, and she couldn't make use of a single one of the many responses that she had prepared.

I... yes, I'm fine.

You're sure?

Mando.

He sighed. He looked tired. Grey suddenly remembered that he had gone to search Torin's places and canvas his friends. She was struck with curiosity.

How did it go? With Torin... well, with Torin's things?

Not yet.

She looked down. Embarrassed.

What were you doing there?

As close to the purest truth as possible...

Kayliff asked me to come. He could tell that I wanted to understand what's happening on Cereda. He wanted to introduce me to a couple of his friends who know more about it.

And it was important that you went on your own?

I suppose so.

Important to him, or to you?

Mando, with his soft concern and a shade of being a bit hurt by the whole situation, was being impossible to quarrel with. She found herself responding with tenderness, and not as part of a strategy.

More so to him, but a bit to me too.

Why to you?

It was Grey's turn to sigh.

Do you remember, right before we left Galir, when you said that we could both search for your Tribe and find out why people are after me, and I said that there's a third thing that I'm searching for, but it's just my own?

I do.

This is that third thing.

Mando gave no response, and this was one time when Grey could not read his face. When he broke the heavy silence, his voice was somehow even softer.

You can tell me.

I...

She looked down again. One hand instinctively went to the pendant, wrapping around it as she stared at the woven rug beneath her feet, not knowing how to explain.

But you won't.

Grey eventually shook her head just once.

But you'll talk to these people...