The Sin of Falling (ONC 2024) (BxB)

Four (Grant)

I'm somewhat dazed by the quick movements in the restroom. I blink a few times in disbelief. Well, that was odd, I think to myself as the man's—-who just barged out in a hurry—-actions play over and over in my mind.

     I knew exactly who the guy was—-I had gone to the concert to see his band perform.

      Hell Under Ionian.

      It's my favorite band—-it has a very heavy metal style.

      The singer is great and so are the bassist and guitarist—-they’re amazing at what they do.

      But, never once did I ever think I'd have a run-in with him—-the band's drummer… Fedya Zaravyrzhik.

      Truthfully, Fedya Zaravyrzhik's always been my favorite member of the band. In all of the videos I've seen, he's always seemed like such a nice guy.

      He seems like the kind of guy I'd befriend.

      Besides the fact Fedya is seemingly a nice dude, there's more to why he's my favorite member.

      I'll admit it. I may have the tiniest crush on him.

     I mean, who can blame me? He's got brown hair that looks so soft… A little fluffy.

        His golden eyes are absolutely beautiful—-I could practically get lost in them. Hell, I even sometimes do find myself getting lost during a performance; and in those moments, all there is… is us. Fedya and I. Me and the hottest dude in the rock genre.

    His adorable little Polish accent is a whole nother thing I don't even want to get into—-I could just talk about it for hours and hours.

     He's honestly everything I could want in a guy.

    But, as I said, it's just a tiny crush—-nothing more. Besides, almost everyone has tiny crushes like this… Well, except for the people on the aro and ace spectrum.

     I let a breath escape my lungs, very slowly as I think about Fedya's exit from the room once more.

      Why'd he just run out like that?, I begin to ponder. Is… something wrong? Did I do something wrong? Does he not like kids? My red glance drifts over to my three-year-old son, Collin, who continues to stand right next to me, rocking back and forth and making adorable little hum-like noises.

      I shake my head at that thought. No. That can't be it. That wouldn't make any sense.

      Besides, I'm pretty sure Fedya has a daughter. I think the kid's about eight-years-old. Stasya, I believe her name to be. (Perks of having a tiny, minuscule crush on a famous musician.)

      There's no way he did that because he hated kids, I think, coming to that minor conclusion. So, why did he do that?

       I suck in a breath as I continue to ponder on that question. Anxiety maybe? Social anxiety?

      I mean, that option's extremely likely.

      Even though he seems like a nice guy in the interviews with him that are on the internet, he seems very shy and soft-spoken.

      But, yet still, to me, social anxiety doesn't seem to feel like the right answer—-so, I think about it more.

      I have heard theories that Fedya's autistic—-of course, these kind of posts are on Reddit. No surprise there—-that’s where I find all the oddball theories about him.

      Another theory I had heard on there was that Fedya, himself, was a siren. A bit weird if you ask me. I mean, where's the proof? Why do these people think he's an undead, immortal beast, mouth barred to the rim with razor sharp fangs? A beast with a bloodthirst that can never be quenched? (Rather odd that people would ever believe a theory as outlandish as that one. I'd never believe that idea—-it’s too unrealistic.)

     On Reddit, there's posts upon posts of people gathering ‘evidence’ that Fedya is autistic—-and at first, I'll admit it, I didn't believe it; but now, as I think about what just went down, I can say that it makes complete sense to me.

      When I had first entered the restroom, I had noticed how Fedya had positioned himself to slump over the sink, hands firmly planted on the edge as if he thought letting go of it would only make his matters worse—-that he'd slip away into the hellish landscape that was the bright, fluorescent lights and the screaming from the packed venue nearby.

      He seemed to be speaking under his breath, as if to reassure himself. It took him quite some time to even look up at his reflection in the mirror—-when he did though, he closed his eyes, mumbling more things that were inaudible to me at my place near the restroom's entrance.

     I had stood there for quite some time, unsure of what to do. (No, I'm not a stalker or some sort of creep, I just wanted to give him some space. I promise. I know that he'd probably need space because Collin's autistic too… and when he gets overloaded, he needs some time to himself.)

     I was gonna give him more time to himself until Collin broke out of my grasp and took off running—-I can't blame him though, he is just a little guy and doesn't know better.

     I look back towards the door.

      Collin had run straight into one of Fedya's legs and I had to apologize as quickly as possible.

      Fedya ran out and now I'm stuck here.

      “Daddy…” Collin's little accented voice calls out to me. “I'm done.”

       I blink a few times before looking back at Collin once more. “Did you wash your hands?”

     “Yep!” He tries to convince me.

      That's a lie. I can tell. He's too short to reach the sink.

     “No you didn't,” I reply to him with a sigh before picking him up and holding him to the sink. “Make sure to get soap and scrub your hands really well.”

      Collin, surprisingly, listens to what I say and does it.

      I set Collin down and help him dry his hands before throwing away the used paper towels. I take his hand in mine once more.

      “Alright,” I begin, speaking to my toddler son. “Let's go.” I take a deep breath before we step out to the hallway once more, ready to merge with the massive crowd in the seats of the venue.