The Sin of Falling (ONC 2024) (BxB)

Twelve (Grant)

The next few nights with Fedya are amazing--the kisses, murmurs of pure adoration... Oh, gods, the sex--that's amazing; I should've seen that part coming though, since I'm dating a siren after all.

It's so much like an actual definition of paradise that it's insane--it almost makes me think back to the good 'ol days of that sense of perfection while with Genevieve; but that didn't work out... She played her hand. It's done and over with. ...and as they say: hasta la vista, bitch!

Collin even likes Fedya. He says Fedya's a "better cook" than me. (Which I mean, it is true... But goddamn, did you really have to say it, little buddy? I've been making you food for a couple of years!)

Collin also seems to get along with Fedya's daughter--Stasya--quite well. I've already seen the two playing in the hallways and living rooms when he's back from daycare and she's done with school. (So much so though that Fedya has to remind Stasya that her homework comes first before playtime with her new friend.)

But as said before, everything seems perfect--except for one small, little thing. Most people would probably just overlook it, but I don't---it would feel wrong to, no matter how early on in our relationship Fedya and I really are.

Whenever we're at one of our homes together, and we go to sleep in the same bed, I catch Fedya jerking a lot in his sleep. There's pitiful whimpers... Frightened groans... Murmurs of "please no"... and just plain sobs. He's been having nightmares. Poor guy.

Once again, by the time morning rolls around, Fedya looks sleep deprived. His pillow was stained with tears. Whatever is going on with him is really messing him up mentally.

I make my way into the kitchen where Fedya's making Stasya some breakfast before school.

Fedya's got another bowl out and ready--filled up--for Collin.

Collin reaches up and tugs on my arm.

I look down at him and smile gently. "What is it, bud?"

"Up!" Collin points to the chair at the table where the other cereal bowl is.

Being three, Collin's definitely big enough to climb up onto the chair himself, but I can't resist his cute little pout. I slide my hands underneath his arms and lift him up into the air before placing him on the chair. I ruffle his dark, curly hair. "There you go, bud. Eat up."

"Thank you!" Collin beams before picking up the spoon and shoveling spoonfuls of cereal into his mouth as fast as he can.

"Don't eat too fast," Fedya then calls out to Collin. "You'll choke or get a stomachache."

"Okay!" Collin calls back, slowing his pace.

Fedya's looking out for Collin... He's looking out for my son. Gods, I love Fedya.

My gaze turns toward Fedya and I ask, noticing the dark circles that have been setting in around his eyes, "You okay?"

Fedya continues to look down. "Yeah. Never better," he fakes. "Why?"

"It's just that..." I pause for a moment, careful to try to not come off like a complete and utter prick. "...You look exhausted, you know."

Fedya sighs. "Touring nonstop will do that to you."

"Bullshit." I immediately stop. That came off far more hostile than I had being intending. I swallow, relax, and take a deep breath, calming my voice. "I mean... That's not exactly true, now is it?"

Fedya eyes me, slightly hostilely as he waits for me to continue my statement.

I swallow nervously yet again. "...I've seen it. You have nightmares. What are they about?"

Fedya's jaw clenches and his hands that were laying flat on the table just a few moments prior shift to fists, knuckles pressing into the marble surface. "Nothing. They just happen. ...You live as long as I do and you see things. Terrible things. Just leave it be will you?"

"No, I won't just 'leave it be'!" I reply, firmly. "Fedya, you cried! You cried in your sleep and stained your damn pillow. So, now do you want to tell me what's going on with you?"

"There's nothing going on with me!" He snaps, making me flinch slightly.

I straighten my posture. "'Nothing going on with you'? Nothing? Fedya, I am your damn boyfriend. I sure as fucking hell can tell when something's wrong. ...and something right now is wrong!"

Fedya huffs, shaking his head. "Nope. I'm not doing this right now. Stasya, Collin... Get your bags. I'll drive you guys today." And, with that, he leaves the room.

"This isn't done!" I call after him. "We will talk about this later!"

─┉─¡! • !¡─┉─

Except for the fact, don't talk about it later. We go out together... Not exactly on a date, but to repair whatever happened with the screaming match this morning.

We don't hold hands, no matter how much I want to--how much I want to feel his hand in mine.

"Sorry for earlier," Fedya murmurs. "I just have a lot of baggage. ...which I'm not exactly ready to unpack for you."

"Why not?"

He swallows. "It's my burden alone."

I slide my hand into his. "It doesn't have to be."

Fedya gives me a slight smile.

That peace between the two of us doesn't last long though.

A car comes randomly barrelling out of nowhere at high speeds.

Fedya freaks out the moment he sees it--fear is written all over his face. He pushes me out of the way, quickly. I'm out of the car's path now, yes... But Fedya's not exactly mindful about how much force he uses when he does so.

I hit the ground with a thud, landing on my left shoulder, and pain instantly radiates up my arm. I sit up, groaning. "Dammit..." I murmur, looking at my injured arm and then to Fedya, who stopped the speeding car by slamming both hands down on it.

The car's smoking now.

In the faint lights, I can see Fedya's black wings extended out before they slide back in to be hidden.

"Fedya?" I call out to him.

Fedya glances over to me for a brief moment before running off into the night, leaving me in the dark.