Hurt

Hate

I hate myself a lot to the extent that I want to vanish from this world
I am a big burden to everyone around me
My treatments for my scoliosis put others in trouble
Me wanting to go home with parents putting them in trouble
Me being unable to sleep well disturbing my friend
Me being sick putting my friends in trouble
I really hate myself
Can anyone please tell me what I should do to be vanished?
I can't bear it anymore
It hurts so much
I don't have anyone now
I am totally alone
I don't know who I should talk to anymore
I am ALONE
It hurts to carry all of them alone
But I have no choice
My siblings depend on me
My family depends on me
But I am just too weak
I don't have anyone to trust anymore
Have been seeking for help twice already
It doesn't work because at last, I don't trust anyone
They help me because that is their job
Then, they just ignore me
Telling me everything's fine while it's not at all
Self-harm
Hurting myself
Pleasure to me now
I can't stop
I am addicted to them
I love scissors a lot
It is my bestfriend
Hehe

For those who read this, please take care of yourself
Don't be like me
It is really heavy