The Freak and I (EN Version)

Chapter 19 : November

That night, when Sidney returned to the trailer park, her father was putting on his jacket to go to the Hide Out. Yet she had prayed on the way back that he had already left. But there he was, right in front of her.

— Here you are at last, he said to his daughter, without even bothering to raise his head.

— Yes, Dad. I told you I had exams coming up. Eddie helped me study.

— Don't worry. He seems nice, your friend.

— Yes, he is.

— I understand better that you spend all your time with him.

Sidney said nothing. Her father would be gone soon.

— I hope you don't forget your old father.

Dan put his hand on the back of his daughter's neck, staring into her gaze. Behind the aggressiveness, Sidney thought she recognized fear. Fear of losing his daughter. Fear of being alone. But once again, violence was gaining the upper hand, tightening its grip.

— Dad, you're hurting me.

— Excuse me.

He withdrew his hand but remained for a moment immersed in his daughter's eyes, before leaving the mobile home.

Days went by as usual.

Sidney had passed her first exams, and Eddie was very happy about it. School was never meant for him. He was bored in class, for the times he went there. And one must admit that some teachers were not kind to him, giving him the label of a thug for some, of a satanist for others. The last few years, he only went to high school for two reasons: the Hellfire Club and graduation, for Wayne. He would have been so proud to stand on that stage, receive that famous piece of paper and turn to his uncle, with a smile on his lips. Sidney, on the other hand, was a very good student. She had always seen classes as a way of surpassing herself. Excelling at school allowed her to remember that she was not the good-for-nothing her father often described. She never spoke of her grades to her father, not wishing him to take any credit for them. Before she kept them to herself, today she talked about them with Eddie. They rejoiced together and Sidney loved to see pride in her friend's eyes.

The two friends would get together every evening and on weekends to play guitar or read to each other.

Sometimes Eddie would ask Sidney how things were going with her father. And she always said the same thing: "Everything is fine." Eddie said nothing more, although he was not convinced by the reassuring words of his young friend. One day he asked her again, expecting the same answer :

— How are you Sid?

— Good. What about you?

— No, I mean with your father.

— Good, good.

— Sid, you can talk to me.

— I know, Ed. But it's okay. Truly is. This is almost worrying.

— Worrying ?

— He asks me how my classes went, wishes me a good evening, and asks me to say hello when I come here. I'm not used to it.

— Maybe he's changed, maybe the fact that you've included him in your life has reassured him.

— That's not how it works. My father is terrified of me leaving him.

— That you're leaving him ? But every child is destined to leave their parents to live their own life.

— I know, but in his head he sees it as a betrayal. The worst betrayal of all, the one my mother gave him.

— You're not responsible for your mother's departure , Sid !

— I know that. It's him. My father is still devastated. And his monster... his monster comes to protect him by destroying everything in his path. And it had been a long time since his monster had been out.

— Do you think he's gone for good ?

— No, I think he's asleep, but i'll wake up and catch up eventually.

That evening, as she returned home, Sidney thought of the monster who was resting for a better return, of the menace that lay upon her shoulders, and Eddie's because of her. She was very angry with herself :

— What a fool you must be, my poor Sidney, she said to herself. You had only one thing to do and you didn't succeed. You brought the monster into Eddie's life.

She wondered if she should cut off all contact with him. Stop the relationship like removing a bandage, all at once. He'd be sad at first, but eventually it would pass. But she knew that was not the answer. Eddie was too attached to her. He would eventually come back to the trailer park putting himself in danger to save her.

She was still in her thoughts when he came home.

— Good evening, Sidney.

She jumped.

— Dad, you scared me.

— Sorry, honey. I was enjoying some fresh air before I left. I thought about something. It'll be Thanksgiving in a few days. Your friend shouldn't be alone for this holiday.

— Dad, I already told you that Eddie couldn't come here.

— He wouldn't have to come here. We'll bring everything at his place so we can have a meal together.

— Dad, I don't know if...

— Sidney, please. Let me be a part of your life !

— OK, Dad. We can have a Thanksgiving dinner.

Sidney couldn't remember the last time she saw her father smile. She found herself dreaming of a world where the monster would be gone for good, a world where her father would go back to who he was before, a world where she would be willing to let Eddie in. At last until his great departure.