painful to watch

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I am getting older,
 Year by year my perspective has changed.
I have been going through the recesses of my deepest feelings for so many years,
I feel it differently every time.
And it still embarrasses me when we watch a movie, the things you miss when you blink can make me cry.
I don't know if you'll ever understand,
But I, because of it, know that I'm on the right track.
In the grey of everyday life, it's better to see drama on television than in my own life.
 But sometimes I don't know which one moves me more.
 In real life, most of them do not depend on me. On TV, I can stop them with the remote and look at them from a different perspective, knowing that their consequences will not affect me.

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