Prologue

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Wonwoo POV

It was a cold saturday night and I am feeling excited. I prepared all of my partner's favourite dish, set the table and dim the lights to make the ambiance more romantic. Tonight we will be celebrating our 10th anniversary as boyfriends. We got together when we were in 3rd year of high school, he was my first in everything, he was there with me through everything and he gave me everything even when the whole world, at one point, took everything from me.

Both my parents died on a car crash when I was 9, my grandfather took me in and took care of me. Life was not easy, but i know, somehow, I was loved. I had to go to therapy on a weekly basis because of the impact my parent's death had on me. Slowly but surely, I am gaining my life back, I became more active and I started going to back school after a year of break. That is where I met him, the man who changed my life for the better, Kim Mingyu.

I tried to give him a call to ask him where he is because I am getting worried. We agreed to meet at 8pm but he is already an hour late, this is unusual because he was never late, or if he will be, he will surely send me a message.

I tried sending him a message instead, asking him where he is and if he is okay; there was no response. I waited for him, thinking that he might just got caught with something really important so he cannot respond to my calls and messages.

I fell asleep on the couch waiting for him. When I woke up it was already 1 in the morning. I checked my phone but the only message I found was from my friend Seokmin.

"Hey Wonwoo!"
"Hey Wonwoo fucking Jeon"
" Where are you?"
"Are you Okay?"
"Do you need me to come?"

What the hell is his problem going ballistic over nothing. Why does he sound like I should not be okay at the moment.

"Hey, Seokmin"
"yeah, I'm okay"
"what's the matter, you sound like you think I was about to commit suicide or something"

"Have you talked to your boyfriend?"
"Do you know what is happening right now?!"
"For christ sake Jeon Wonwoo, did you even check your socials"

"No I haven't, I was busy the whole night preparing for our anniversary celebration"
"I was actually worried because he stood me up. This never happened before. I wish he is okay."

I was about to give Mingyu another call to check on him when a message from Seokmin shook me to the core.

" Your fucking boyfriend is all over the news. He is getting engaged!"

Shock was an understatement to describe how I felt at the moment. I froze, was unable to move. All the bad memories I worked so hard to forget started coming back. I tried to fight it, I kept telling myself that Mingyu will never do that to me. He loves me, I feel it, I felt it every time we were together. Though I am already feeling so weak and scared, I used my remaining energy to check the web, and there I saw with my own two eyes.

" Heir of the Kim Industries, the largest company in the country, gets engaged with the only daughter of the Im corporation".

Along with the news were photos of Mingyu and the woman he is set to marry. She is so beautiful, they look good together. Every word I read and photo I see feels like a knife being stabbed in my heart. I started trembling, I did not know what to do. There are so many questions and I need answers. Why is this happening? Did I do anything wrong? How can Mingyu, the man who looks at me with those beautiful and loving eyes do this to me? The Mingyu who never failed to make me feel that I was Important. Did he realize I was not enough? Was I not enough?

I started crying so hard. My phone kept ringing but I dont even have the strength to answer. I just want to disappear. "Mom, Dad" I pleaded. "please just take me with you, there is nothing left for me here any more" words are barely coming out because of my violent sobs. There was nothing I can do but cry with all these negative emotions I am feeling all at once. The last thing I saw was a message from Mingyu before everything went black.
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I woke up to the feeling of someone caressing my face. When I opened my eyes, It was him, the man who loved me the most and now hurt me the most. I was speechless, I have so many questions but I was scared of what he was about to say. I was very angry at him, but I don't want him to leave. This feeling of ambivalence makes me crazy but despite all these, one thing is for sure, I love him.

"Onu" Mingyu called my nickname so gently, like he always does. The nickname only he is allowed to use, the nickname he gave me when I gave him my sweet yes 10 years ago.

"I am sorry" the words which came out of Mingyu's mouth made my heart beat faster and louder, my tears are about to burst but I am trying my best to hold back.

"Sorry for what?" I asked him, trying to hold my tears.

"I am going to break up with you" and with those words all the tears I am preventing to escape just came out all at once. In our 10 years together, we never fought, I never cried unless they were happy tears, and I only felt loved. So all these, with Mingyu, feels foreign. Why can't he even comfort me now? I am bawling my tears yet he can't even spare me one touch. Why did he change so suddenly? Why is the man whom I spent my life with for the last 10 years suddenly feel like a stranger.

Mingyu was just staring at me with a look that I can't even describe. Is he sad too? Is he also in pain? His eyes look empty. Then he started speaking again.

"This will be the last time I am coming here. I am really sorry for hurting you, you can keep the place it is under your name anyway".
His words are hurtful and it made me feel angry that my crying subsided a bit.
"I dont need it" I answered back, he looked taken aback but he composed himself again.
" It is the least thing I can do for hurting you" he said. "The least thing you can do for hurting me? really?" I asked him mockingly. "you want me to stay here, in this place where we had spent a lot of years together, a place full of our happy memories? how brilliant! you sure had a sense of humour Mingyu" I told him with a hint of anger in my voice.

"Well it is up to you, I just tried to offer. If there is nothing else I will go now, I hope you find your happiness Wonwoo" he called me Wonwoo, not his Onu anymore and I wanted to cry again. I know that once he got out of that door we are really over and I hated it. So I grabbed his shirt trying to tell him not to leave but out of desperation something else came out of my mouth.

"Have sex with me" I blurted out
"Wonwoo are you——" I cut him off  before he could even finish.
" 10 years Mingyu, we were together for 10 years." I started crying again. "We promised each other to only do it after marriage, but now we won't get married anymore." I sobbed  as I was still holding on to his shirt. "Even though you do not love me anymore, I still love you, more than anybody else in this world. And I  still want to give it to you, my first, and probably my last, because I don't think I can love anyone anymore after you. So please give it to me, own me, at least just this once, before you leave, make me truly yours" I never sounded so desperate in my entire life but it is now or never. There was a moment of silence, I made a faint smile thinking maybe this was really the end. But before I can even open my mouth again, he suddenly grabbed my face and smashed his lips into mine. Not long after, our bodies became one. I cried all the time, are these happy tears? lonely tears? angry tears? I don't know anymore. I just enjoyed the moment, my last moment with him. "Onu, I love you" were the last words I heard and I remembered before I passed out.

The moment I woke up it felt empty, all I can see was a messy bed, our pictures hanging on the wall and the decorations I prepared yesterday for our anniversary. I am still very lonely, very angry but I love him, I will always love him. I still have a lot of questions but I don't care anymore. I stood up, threw all the food I prepared in the bin. Took off all the decorations I made. Then I started packing my clothes and things, left everything else that reminded me of him. Never would I thought that I still have something that will connect me with him for the rest of my life.

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